[liv]

I also loved your post. It is sometimes hard to sit down and be very honest with one self.

Another thing I would suggest is maybe also think about doing OWL if you did not already do that. It could be that there were too many restrictions. I find that on OWL I can make different flax, seed and nut muffins and bread like things that completely satisfy those kind of longings.
Have you tried the revolution rolls? These are not my favourite but many people love them.