While I was sort-of checked out of life for the past 7 years or so...(drinking), I stopped going to the beach which used to be almost a daily ritual.
So I have been wanting to get walking on the beach again (I live literally a 3-5 minute walk from kailua beach - a gorgeous beach). I went yesterday in the early evening and stayed there for an hour until it was almost completely dark outside...just awesome.
The thing is, I need to get in the water. My doctor and physical therapist said it is a must for me....I have achillies and foot tendon issues and I have a tendionitis in my psoas and groin area....it sux.
So I said to myself last night, thats it I am getting in the water, tomorrow I will go buy a suit or shorts...some kind of garb that will suffice as a suit for me to swim. Just came back from Rosses and YIKES!!!
It's just not good.
I have been sober and with it now for well over a year, yet I deprive myself of a good form of exercise (not to mention just the spiritual nature of being in the ocean)...because I am ashamed of my body. I am frustrated that I am having a hard time of letting go of what other people think...I am sure it's an ego thing and it's silly.
Anyone else ever been here? How did you get over it.
I would appreciate any comments, suggestions or direction.
Aloha,
Shelly
I would post pictures of my beach, so you can see what an idiot I am ... but I don't know how!!!