[goin2befit]

I guess today is my day to confess and to own up to my actions... I started Aktins I think officially on Dec 18th.... however, I cheated every single day. In the first 7 weeks I lost 21 pounds and that is cheating everyday... I would try to stay around 20 carbs but that would include a glass of milk, ect... sometimes I would go over b/c I would have a bag of candy, a thing of icecream, ect... but would have no other carbs for the day and no other carbs for most of the next day.. but after 7 weeks the weight kept fluctuating... up 4 down 2, up 2 down 5... so altogether from Dec 18th til now I have lost 31.4 pounds...

I realized I am loosing weight for other people and not just for myself. I am also abusing food to find comfort (especially the sweets and bread) when I am nervous, anxious, or upset (and this seems to be alot lately)... I have lied about food, hidden and binged on food, I have deceived those around me and I am truely sorry for them and most more importantly for myself.

Loosing weight has been the most emotional thing I have ever done in my life. From this day forward I will be the best person I can and follow the diet the way it was written i will keep my 14 day clean introduction, starting today... and I will report back in 14 days.

Now some of you may ask why I'm spilling my guts like this, it is simply b/c I know that there is other "lurkers" out there that has started and stopped 100 times and yet they still keep coming back b/c they believe in Atkins and they are ready to change but find themselves failing day after day.

For me I am able to commit to myself when I realized that God is watching me 24/7 and he knows if I am cheating or no, also when I realized no matter how bad someone else wants me to loose the weight or the consequenses of me not loosing the weight is so irrelevant, that the only one who will loose weight is ME... My choice that I make each and everyday.

Now the next thing is to replace those old habits of binging to find comfort to other ways to relax and comfort myself and I have decided to pray and meditate for 5 mins each time I feel this feeling... if this doesn't work then I will read something positive (a good book on remembering God, words of wisdom, ect) and I feel confident that this will calm me and will keep me back on track.

Thanks for giving me the time to share...
PS. My 14 day introduction start weight is 370.6

~Amanda