[plsmachic]

It's been a while.

WAY too long.

My life had been unraveling (sp?) in every direction. I need to come back now.

I blame my life going bad on how I eat. And, I really don't think I'm that far off in that concept.

I believe we become what we constantly think about... (anyone read The Secret?)

And I believe when I eat carbs, I am intentionally hurting myself. Although, in the moment I might enjoy it, I instantly regret it the second after I eat it. And then I hate myself, and I start thinking all these very self-defeating thoughts... And, my thoughts have taken over my life. I'm no good... I'll never succeed at anything... All the things I pound into myself are coming to fruition. I need to wake up.

I've put on so much weight... but even more than the weight, I'm putting on inches, far more than I had when I weighed this much last time.

I need to put the past behind me and start fresh. I went to the market today, got fresh veggies and chicken, and had cauliflower and chicken with mushrooms for dinner, and I'll be in here at rollcall in the morning...

I am back. I am going to get healthy again. And take it a day at a time to stay that way.