Stopping Self-Sabotage

[cleochatra]

Today is Friday. Pizza night.

As I sit here at my computer and look at the calendar, it occured to me that nothing killed pizza night faster than me following this way of eating. But it took a little effort.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn right away. I thought I was strong enough to continue the tradition of mondo-pizza-pizza and let everyone else eat the Italian pie without being tempted. Maybe I was being strong to impress my husband, because on weekends he was away due to business, I'd eat that pizza, and I'd make no bones about it.

As a result, I was sabotaging my own efforts.

I realize now that my reasons for NOT eating the pizza in the first place were because of external circumstances. That is, I didn't want to disappoint my husband; therefore, I didn't eat the pizza.

There was no common sense or motivation for ME to want to stop eating the pizza, and, as a result of my success being dependent on him, when he wasn't around, I just blew a gasket and ate.

It was only when I took responsibility for ME, rather than placing it on others that I really made the conscious decision to stop sabotaging my own efforts. It's easy to place blame on others for keeping the food around, or for a tradition you're afraid to break.

It's easy to say, "I'm just a victim of everyone else's whims".

It's easy, while we're shovelling in the licorice to say, "I didn't get to the gym today because it was raining, so why not eat the licorice?"

It's harder to make a conscious decision to change those habits. To stop the self-sabotage.

You want to see the best manipulator you know? Look in the mirror. We've trained ourselves over years to react to situations the way we do. We'll willingly manipulate a situation towards our failure, which results in our receiving the food reward.

We've made ourselves rats in a maze of fat. We get to the end and we're stuffing pizza into our mouths and we think we've won. We think THIS is our reward.

The irony is that, years later, while we're still hiding behind our excuses for failure we wonder why we can't escape those behaviors.

It's just because we haven't trained ourselves or thought enough about it.

So, the next time you're tempted to ruin what you're doing because you've slipped back into the fat-rat-in-the-maze-of-self-sabotage, here are some strategies which will help, if you give them the chance.

1) If you know you pizza is your weakness, don't order it, buy it, or keep it around. I don't care how strong you are. Does the coke addict buy the drugs on the streetcorner for his friends and then sit happily by sipping his mocha latte? No. So why put the temptation out there.

2) If you have a tradition centered around food, change the tradition! Traditions came from somewhere, and weren't always in place. I don't care if Adam and Eve ate the apple. Your garden of Eden is comprised of low-glycemic foods. And look where the apple got them!

3) If one negative behavior leads to another, change that response or behavior. If missing the gym means you're going to treat yourself by abusing your blood sugar levels, really think about it-- where is the common sense in that? At least admit, "I am doing nothing good for my body. So, instead, I am going to do more nothing good for my body."

If it's raining outside and it ruins your gym plans, make a contingency plan. If yoiu're working late, take a break to walk in place, walk to your car and back, anything to get out and move. Go for walks at lunch instead of hedging your bets on making those late gym days.

If you know you're too tired to exercise after work, exercise some other part of the day. We have a 24-hour day. Of that, 9 hours is spent working and 8 are spent sleeping. There's no reason not to get in 30 minutes a day.

If you DO miss the gym, change your self-destructive behavior. You will, instead, bike to work. Or you'll go home and put on some exercise gear, eat a fit dinner, do some light aerobics and then paint your nails or work on a hobby you really enjoy (so long as the hobby isn't eating licorice).

4) If you are tempted to cheat

• STOP!
• Ask yourself, "Why does this happen?"
• "What is the real problem?"
• "What can I do differently to alleviate the stress I am feeling from this situation?"

Write it down. Write everything that is bothering you and how you can respond in a non-food manner.

5) Think about it. React to situations in a practical manner.

Are you tired? Sleep.
Are you angry? Write a letter you never intend to send.
Are you bored? Go for a walk. Work in the Garden. Watch a Netflix movie.
Are you overwhelmed? Exercise. The endorphins will make you feel better. Relax. Analyze what is causing you stress.

6) Take action. Are you stressed out because you feel you have no control over your life?

What, precisely, is causing you to have stress? For me, it was when I felt the house was a mess.

Solution? Well, it used to be so sit on the couch and eat Milk Duds in lieu of actually doing something about my dilemma. Now, I make a list of six small things I will do and put it on a post-it note. As I finish each task, I toss the little slip of paper. You'd be amazed at how much you can accomplish on six post-it notes per day!

Again, we all are prone to self-sabotage of one sort or another, but the actions we take can either send us down that maze looking for the Strawberry malted milk balls, or they can send us in a new and exciting direction.

Tonight is Friday Family night for me. No more pizza. Just a healthy, lower-carb dinner, board games, laughter, and memories with my family.

Get out of the maze and start living your life. You can do it.

[cruiser gal]

How RIGHT you are Cleo. If we want to succeed, we have to take control of the situation ourselves! We have to do it for ourselves, and want it for ourselves firstly. Not to impress someone else, but to impress ourselves! Sure it is nice that others notice our weightloss, but we have to notice it for us! We have to know why we do the things we do, and eat the way we do, and analyze the reasons, and understand the consequences. If this is not done, how can we possibly succeed?

At night, when I look in the mirror, before going to bed, I say to myself, "I am doing all this for ME!"

[Pie4me]

What an absolutely amazing post!

Thank you so much for sharing that inspiration with us--
It helped me "see through" some situations at my own house
that could be changed for the better. You spoke of some situations
that I knew were occurring but didn't want to quite admit to.

Thanks for helping me learn to be accountable for my OWN actions!

Pie4me

[tabekat]

Really great post Cleo. I especially liked the part where you noticed you altered your behavior to please hubby, but wasn't following through with it when hubby was absent. And then we allow ego to blame the other person and they don't have anything to do with it! lol...

Ahhh, it is hilarious...the little games we can play with ourself. Self Love is definately the answer though.

I have a comment on this part....

that nothing killed pizza night faster than me following this way of eating

Maybe I'm weird, but I honestly don't feel this way about the Atkins lifestyle.
I don't allow being on Atkins to ruin any fun food experience for me. I just compromise.

If I crave pizza and I'm home, I nuke two mozerella cheese sticks over a stack of pepperoni. It gets nice and greasy and cheesy and I let it get all over my chin and my fingers and I lick, lick, lick - so tangy and salty. YUM! Anyway, I eat as much of it as I desire. The melted cheese and the meat is the part I always wanted pizza for anyway, so Atkins doesn't kill pizza night for me, it enhances it. I get the really yummy part and who cares about the stupid heart clogging crust?

I have pizza night whenever I get the craving. Even for breakfast.

If I crave pizza and I'm out, I go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and I PIG OUT!!!. I pick the meat and the cheese off the crust and leave a HUGE pile of uneaten crusts on my plate. I have no shame at all when it comes to sticking to my Atkins lifestyle.

The meat and cheese taste so great to me. I give up nothing but the part that was hurting my body and making me fat. Whats to miss?

I just love to eat. And I love Atkins because now I can eat and I lose guilt and weight at the same time.