Me v. Teenage Kid - Assistance = Problems

[boonie stomper]

DS has "Aspergers" and is extremely selective about what he will eat.

Unfortunately, there is almost NO overlap between my menu and his, save ground beef and celery with ranch dressing, oh, and a variety of cheese or 2 and likewise diet soda (but he really wages war on this too).

Because I'm solely supporting him, plus his condition's extra time demands, it is becoming phenomenally more difficult to put in the time required daily to keep him on the 'making progress' path while trying to do this WOE. My own food budget is almost completely separate from his, as in, IF HE DON'T EAT IT I face throwing it away, yet am trying to squeeze blood from turnips to get him fed in an acceptable way. Rock and hard place - any ideas? ( and then the issue of STRESS needs to be addressed, before I gain 1000 pounds while on a "maintenance-plus-a-splurge-here-and-there" status which has reared its UGLY HEAD!!! )

[not2late]

Hey Boonie!

Have you discussed this with his physician? Hopkins, university of maryland and Children's National have registered dieticians who might be able to help you with this.

My college roommate's son has Asperger's too. And after seeing a bunch of people---occupation therapists, developmental pediatricians, etc.---they figured out that his "pickyness" was due to food texture and swallowing issues.

[RitaCeleste]

I have similar problems with my kids. The gifted one is the most picky eater, the Asperger's one eats the most but is still picky. So far we can have soup with meat in it, onions, whole potatos Gabby can eat, big chunks of carrots the kids can eat, and celery. I can pick around the carrots and potatos. We can have slow roasted meats of cuts like boston butt, and pork picnics cause they are CHEAP and on SALE. We can have baked legquarters or chicken breast if its on sale. Country style ribs when they are on sale, hamburger when its onsale. Georgia Boy hotdogs have twice as protein as the brand I was buying so I let them have those in a pinch. The kids can have cheap frozen pizzas, cheap fish stick, or frozen chicken breasts if they refuse dinner. One will eat broccoli, one won't, one will eat greenbeans, the other won't etc. Meat is the main thing we try to match on. You can save half a can of greenbeans, only heat up so much broccoli etc. Gabby is allowed eggrolls because it has veggies in them and she'll eat it. But you gotta find a way to get them to eat cheap meats. I really try limit how much of frozen processed foods I buy for them in a week. They have learned to save them for when I cook something they decide is offensive. The roast will be eaten on for awhile and there are 4 people in this house. You might try bagging the leftovers from larger cuts and freezing them. I always ask the kids what they want or let them know whats thawing and discuss how they want it cooked first. They tell me they will eat those peas before I pick up the canopener! Now this eating together means I don't get spice on my roast, I don't pepper things, Spice might be on a few legs and thighs and not on others. But yeah, it still costs more than if they ate same as me all the time. Processed foods can add up at the grocery store. Plates of foods they told me OK to cook for them, swore they would eat, will be saved and resubmitted to them every time they claim they are hungery until it has become a health hazzard! And they were told when they got a job then they could buy food and just throw it away all day. I've handed them money and sat it nect to the food and said, "Now rip it up! Cause that's what you are doing! Next time you want something remember this what happened to my money!" Gabby, my asperger, child finally totally got the point she was throwing away my money and did much better. Now I only did with foods she does actually like. I'm not shy about letting her know the money situation we have and asking her to hold off this, not do that, and tell her no we can't replace that.

[boonie stomper]

You are a saint, Rita. Thanks for that!! You obviously know the deal here. Hopefully DS will continue as he matures to acquire new tastes, but my time and $ are too short to give him a-la-carte every night, plus, he needs to get the vitamins in, somehow, that he misses when he decides to ONLY eat, say, the ramen or potatoes, and not the green beans (because they were warm, or previously boiled) or the burger (because of underseasoning due to his last burger refusal due to overseasoning) or whatever. Sheesh - He's even hard to get a vitamin into! (gotta be certain brand, certain flavor of gummy, etc).

If only I could get the 'resubmission' trick down pat. He can reject instantly the saved product... Of course, it is obviously the sensory issues influencing this... a year ago he claimed he can't smell the critter... but he sure can tell the difference between 2 batches of milk neither of which is expired!?!!

[RitaCeleste]

We do do a lot of a-la-carte here. Gabby also likes Ramin. They keep it at her school for when she refuses the food there. I told them it was Ramin or a meal because she is overweight. I found out she likes A1, and certain spices. We have "taste it" sessions when they forget what things taste like or I bring something new in. Everybody has to put a little in the mouth and chew before declaring it unfit. Horrifying as it sounds, the buffets in town are where they do the most food sampling. Lots of things can get tasted at those places and I only have to pay once! They kids eat what they like and a few things are left on the plate. Salad bars have fruits and green stuff raw, they have cooked veggies etc. The kids like it cause they can find things they like and we only have them taste a couple of things extra. They have found stuff this way. Also I give them the lesser of two evils and see if I can get them to rate things high enough to eat. I'll take an I CAN eat it, I just rather NOT. But still, Gabby will get those darn eggrolls cause its the most green stuff she sees. But now she is game to try fried cabbage cause that's what's in her eggroll. Cassy will eat fried shrimp and scallops just not boiled, lettuce and salad stuff. A-la-carte eating has to be simple around here. The foods they eat that way just have to be heated up. I'm mean in that they have never tried the most expensive things in the store at all. They taste between cheap and cheaper. lol

[RitaCeleste]

Also if he ever has a chance to take a home ec class like food and nutrition at the school sign him up! Gabby is severe and in a special school so she won't be able to do this. But I can DREAM. The way Gabby likes facts and numbers I think it would help her. I have got her reading food lables for calories and how many servings per container etc. This has helped her some because she overeats on some things. She screams when we show her what a serving is suppose to be.

[boonie stomper]

Thanks.. sound like Gabby is in a special scholl, as is my DS. I think they will be teaching a microwave cooking class; don't know details yet; but any way, yes, buffets are a good idea. But the don't EVER have SF jello..

sigh...

On the pos. side, even thou he requires a lunchbox I must pack daily for school to augment the prepaid lunches I funded at school, at least currently the status (unchanging) quo of a bologna (set type) w/bread(set type) & mayo (set type) & soda (ditto) is not too difficult. Just a batch of those & mix/match sides (he probably throws away along with uneaten purchases off his lunch account balance) & its not tooooo bad, as compared to times passed.