Need Help encouraging friend

[JESTEROO]

Hello all !

My best friend and I started Atkins together a while back...... and we are stumbling upon a few problems.

In the first two weeks of induction, I lost 14.5 pounds - she lost 5.5. That really stressed her out.

We have been doing extended induction for a while now....and I consistantly lose weight and inches faster than she does ( I lose about 5-7 pounds a week ).

She is starting to become very frustrated that I am losing more than she is. I have suggested not weighing ourselves, and instead measure in inches. Well..... I lose more inches as well...so that was a big mistake.

She is starting to waver in her motivation to continue on this WOE and last night said lets just pizza and wings. Of course, I said no .

Do any of you have any suggestions how I can encourage her ? I've considered telling her that we shouldn't tell each other what we weigh or how many inches we have lost. . . but I just don't think she would go for that..........and in her brain, she would know that it is because I am losing more, faster than she is.....and I think it would make it worse. She would think........why is she being so secretive? ( sigh ).

Any ideas ? I feel bad....

Jesteroo

[Elizellen]

Jester - can you tell us your current weights, heights and how much weight each of you hopes to lose?

[iwillbethin]

I was gonna ask the same exact question.

[bizzlekitty]

Losing weight shouldn't be a contest, and is largely unfair to do so, especially with Atkins, because every body is different and will lose weight differently. Age, health, family history, gender make a huge difference.

Cheating will only make that weight loss slower and mess up your metabolism, which is especially bad on Atkins.

I would recommend trying to not share your results if possible, and maybe make it a contest to focus on who goes the longest with not cheating, drinking their water, etc, instead.

The real winner is whoever sticks with it for the long term and makes Atkins a life style, not just a diet to lose weight.

[Moochiecat]

I doubt that identical twins would have the same weight loss rate even if they ate the exact same foods....there are so many variables in play that the odds are against it. Perhaps it might be better to not discuss the numbers anymore if this is the effect it has on you. Just a "I've lost again!" might be a better idea for you both, so you can just focus on the celebration of the whole experience.

Give this a read:
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5090
and let your friend give it a read as well.

[Finelly]

As an extremely slow loser this time around (5.5 lbs in 3.5 weeks of induction), I can sympathize with your friend. It IS difficult to keep reading posts about people who've dropped 9 lbs, or 3 lbs in a day, etc. Even though I'm happy as all get out for my fellow Atkineers, there are times when I just can't read those posts.

One thing you might want to focus on is how great you guys feel. The benefits of this WOE are not all about what the scale says. You shoudl both be experiencing tremendous energy and a sense of well-being. You should both be working out and feeling stronger and leaner each day. You should be noticing that your stamina increases exponentially. THESE are the things you could be talking about instead of what the scale says.

I don't know how often you are weighing, but if it is more than every 2 weeks, you might want to cut back out of consideration for your friend. If you agree to only weigh every 2 weeks, there are 13 days in which the poundage won't matter as much.

Does your friend come on this board? If so, she can search out other slow losers for commiseration and motivation and support.

[ex-barbie-doll]

It took me 2 months to lose 10 pounds on induction! But I kept at it and am down over 41 pounds... in over 2 years...

[sidrah]

How much do you and your friend haev to lose? If she only has 20 pounds to go, it will take longer for her body to let go of the weight.The bigger you are to start, the more you will drop initially. Are exerise/water intake different?

I mean, it seems silly to stop all together cause someone else lost more. So many of us would have quit by now if we saw someone lost 100 pounds in 5 months and we all would threatened to quit if we didn't live up to that.

Do we feel jealous sometimes? uh, yeah!! I'll take being jealous and looking better a little later on than getting worse looking and being smug

Tell her to join here and she might be surprised she is doing much better than some of the rest of us.

good luck

[JESTEROO]

Hello all . . .

Thank you for all of the encouragement, thoughts and advice. I will give it all a whirl...

I am 5'5 starting weight was 239 - current weight is 214 goal is 135 ( We have both been on this WOE since the end of April ).

She is 5'9 Starting weight was 269 - current weight is 260 - goal is 150

We walk 4 miles together 4 days a week, and we also do other various exercises along the trail. She LOVES water, so she is actually doing better in that department than I am.

I weigh every Tuesday morning . . . she weighs every day. I don't ever offer the number on the scale - but she always asks....and if I don't want to say....then she thinks it is because I have lost an enormous amount of weight and don't want her to know - for whatever reason.

She is not interested in this board at all unfortunately. I think she could find great encouragment and motivation.

I think we just need to "have it out" and hope that things will be better from that point on.

Thanks again, Jesteroo