my teen slobs

[sweetspirit241]

this has nothing to do with atkins but i would love some advice, lol. I have 2 teens who I love so much but they are slobs! upstairs is all of our rooms, but they never go in them, they even have their room TV's down stairs in our kitchen, dinningroom and livingroom, along with our home computer. they even sleep down here on the couch and floor everynight, they eat in front of the TV or at the computer, its a mess!!!! down here is where they live, get dressed , throw the dirty clothes on the floor ect! anyway I was thinking I should take all the TV's upstairs and cut the cord to the big one down here! then I should put the computer in my room (its huge, my room) this way they have no reason to be slobs down here where company comes to visit, just my room will be a mess, but thats better than the disaster down here, and I can go to bed at night then no one stays up late on my comp! when we didnt have a tv in the front room it stayed clean..... do you think this would be to extreme???? they are 14 and 15 and im at the end of my rope this morning with them

[sweetspirit241]

they are so lazy they wont even wash a dish or put there own in the sink, if they didnt have a clean dish they would use a big mixing bowl for cereal, so one day I threw away all of my bowls except 3 (even tossed my mixing bowls, lol) now they have no choice but to wash there own bowls! right now I had to trip over them just to reach my computer (the sleeping kids) and they have trashed the house since last night down here, food and plates all over this desk and its gross!

[Pie4me]

IMO you need to sit down with these clowns and take BACK control
of the situation in YOUR house. You think it is bad now at 14 & 15-
If you don't do something now I am afraid you will be sorry later on.
Those kids need to respect you and your authority and have some
responsibilities around your house that HAVE to be done in order to
just LIVE there.The way they act is a reflection on you. Take the
bull by the hors and take BACK possession of your house now.
Before it is too late!

Pie4me
47yoa
5'9
sw 163
cw 149
goal 145

[texwife&mom]

I am going to go out on a limb and guess these are boys? (most girls would be embarrased to have friends see a messy house, most boys don't care) I have a 3 and 4 yr old boy. I have been told on this forum that it would be appreciated by their furture wives if I would "train them up" now. They have a play room as well as a seperate bedroom that they share. Their play room is a disaster area, but they are required to keep the disaster from crossing over the treshold into the rest of the house. You should not have to cut the cord to your tv, watching tv does not require that a mess be made. At 14 & 15 I have no idea how you make them listen, just tell them how it makes you feel to live in such a state of chaos, give them the old if you love mommie and want to make her happy? Works on 3 & 4 yr olds but I don't know about "teens". Good luck!!

[not2late]

Originally Posted by sweetspirit241

this has nothing to do with atkins but i would love some advice, lol. I have 2 teens who I love so much but they are slobs! upstairs is all of our rooms, but they never go in them, they even have their room TV's down stairs in our kitchen, dinningroom and livingroom, along with our home computer. they even sleep down here on the couch and floor everynight, they eat in front of the TV or at the computer, its a mess!!!! down here is where they live, get dressed , throw the dirty clothes on the floor ect! anyway I was thinking I should take all the TV's upstairs and cut the cord to the big one down here! then I should put the computer in my room (its huge, my room) this way they have no reason to be slobs down here where company comes to visit, just my room will be a mess, but thats better than the disaster down here, and I can go to bed at night then no one stays up late on my comp! when we didnt have a tv in the front room it stayed clean..... do you think this would be to extreme???? they are 14 and 15 and im at the end of my rope this morning with them

You gotta set down the Rules of the House. There will be alot of screaming, crying and outright anger (and the kids will do this too ) But you have to take control now. It's inexcusable for a 14 or 15 year old to behave that way and they still need to follow the rules of the house. Remember you are the parent, they are the children. You are the boss.

Sit down tonight and make up a list.

1. Food and drink will only be eaten and drunk in the dining room and kitchen.
2. All dishes, glasses, cups, saucers, eating utensils will be washed, dried and put away after use.
3. All sleeping, napping and horizontal lounging will be done in the bedroom.
4. All dirty clothes, towels, bedlinens, etc. will be placed into the appropriate hampers. Any clothing, towels, bedlines, etc. that are not in hampers will not be washed---ever!
5.Individual tvs will stay in the individual bedrooms or they will be removed from the house (that means, thrown away at the owner's expense).

Tomorrow morning, you call a family meeting. Lay down the law. If they don't comply with the Rules you'll need to figure out appropriate punishments (you might as well get some work out of them and have them do things like wash dishes, iron, vaccuum, mow the lawn, wash the cars, etc.)

But in the end it's up to you to be strong and stick to your guns about this. It won't help them in the long run if you continue to live like slobs. My cousins are slobs because my auntie allowed them to live like slobs when they were growing up.

[sweetspirit241]

thanks for the advice, I realy do need to lay down the law for them and stick to it, i am too soft on them, this comes from years of domestic abuse from their dad, he was soo strict so I was the nice one, we escaped 2 and a half years ago and now I have to be the authority figure, I have spent my day deep cleaning the kitchen and my girl woke up and did clean the front room because I was so mad. the rules sound great.

[FightingTheFight]

Hmm...Whos the parent again?

Theres a difference between abuse and discipline....learn it.

I have to say I raised 2 boys and 2 girls and all 4 were pigs...great kids all of them......it was a safety hazzard at times...but I can honestly say I tried "house rules" failure...tried paying them ...failed...tried screaming hysterically...really failed....tried every tip and suggestion and they always wore me down...the one thing I did try was to choose my battles ..what really bugged me the most? it was the bathroom ..so I enforced a santary rule with an iron fist...the bedrooms I could close the door and as long as we did not have vermin I was ok...the kitchen was they did dishes only then I wiped it down and my husband mopped the floor...everyone did their own laundry and kept the dirty clothing in their room or the washer...I just found it easier to enforce a smaller picture .. hope that helps ..the oldest boy and the youngest girl are neat now and the other two are still slobs..but all of them are wonderful people!

[Pie4me]

In my house if you don't do the required responsibilities that all family
membes have.....YOU DON"T EAT ! That prompts my 13 and 15 year old boys.
They remember what going without dinner feels like...And I control the kitchen!
It helps that my husband is behind it all 100%.
Pie4me

[Brook]

My oldest is 13, and he's a natural slob. I love the boy. I do, but oyyyyyyy.

I laid down rules very similar to the ones not2late wrote out, but I started out by cleaning the house first - and I started in *his* bedroom. He was gone for the day and I went in with a big, black lawn bag. If it was on the floor and wasn't a major purchase (of MINE) or clothing, it was garbage. He was left with his bed, bedding, clothing, posters on the walls, his bass & amp, and his computer. That's it. I also removed the door off the hinges. Seriously. I was going for total shock value.

After he finished flipping out I calmly explained to him that it was obvious none of the things I threw away were important to him because of the way he cared for those things. I told him he had no right to privacy so long as he continued to make his room, therefore my house, any kind of safety or fire hazard. We sat down, went over the rules and set out very specific consequences if the rules weren't followed.

It worked.

Now? All I have to do is threaten to buy lawn bags and my house turns up all sparkley. LOL

The key is not only laying down the rules but being consistant in the cause and effect part of it.

It's not easy. I hated playing Ilsa the Wicked She-Mother, but let's face it - I'm good at it.

Good luck and know that the mother-force is with you.

~Brook