Brownies, A Prayer to the Dieting Gods

[bellajgw]

Dear Dieting Gods

As you know, I'm an office manager and every time someone has a birthday I get them whatever cake/icecream/goody they want. September has been a rough month with over 5 birthdays so far and 2 left to go, but with your help, and enough cheese sticks to constipate a rhino, I have made it through without so much as a crumb (please also remember, when it is time to weigh in, that I also WIPED off that icing that got on my fingers instead of licked it off).

To review, so far I've successfully managed my way past:


Strawberry Shortcake
Chocolate Cheesecake
Chocolate Gnoche Cake
Tiramisu Cake
Assortment of ice cream sandwiches


Tonight, however it has been asked that I have my partner make her special, fabulous, from-scratch-Janet-Brownies, for a dear coworker's birthday tomorrow. Now, not only to I have to keep from eating them at work but I also have to keep from picking at the crumbs left in the pan, stop from licking the brownie goo from the bowl, and stop from devouring the whole pan when it's fresh out of the oven and my house smells like the most glorious chocolate-iness!!!!

So, oh fickle dieting gods, I beg of you....please help keep these grubby and weak paws off those mega-yummy chocolate bars o' death! Do not let me break my 21 day cheat free streak. Oh please, dieting gods, give me the strength to stay OUT of the kitchen until all the pans are washed and to refrain from shoving the sinful delights down my throat in a pace that would make that impossibly tiny speed-eater from Japan go back into training in self-disgust.

As an offering I would be more than happy to burn my fat jeans at the next full moon.

You faithful and pitiful servant,

Bella

[mizski]

Dear Bella,

The dieting gods are pleased with your continued efforts. As the dieting gods are also green gods, we would prefer that you donate your fat jeans to charity rather than burning them. Burning jeans is bad and not green.

The dieting gods also wish to help you with your continual angst in birthday goodie avoidance and suggest that you arm yourself with some SF dill pickle slices or other strong savory. Pop one of these in your mouth when in the presence of sweet temptations. Brownie crumbs and dill pickle will not please any palate. Also, the dieting gods suggest that you use some scented hand cream to remove the temptation to lick your fingers. Flowers and sweets are also a big yuck.

Thank you faithful and pitiful servant for your continual dieting efforts and your reward will be diminished girth.

The dieting gods

[chauber]

Though what you are going through is very difficult I could not help but laugh at your wonderfully descriptive post. I have felt the exact same way and would love to burn my fat jeans I just have to get low enough to buy smaller ones first

Good luck an I hope it all goes well. Maybe you can go on a walk while your partner makes the brownies (out of sight out of mind), and make sure she airs out the house before you come home. Maybe she can even wrap them up REALLY TIGHT so you won't smell them on the way to work.

The rest is up to you and I have faith that you will conquer the brownies! By avoiding them that is!

[barrnone]

I am a true brownie lover at heart, so I hear your pain. I suggest going for a very, very long walk! But, if you could send me her recipe, my [cough] daughter would love it...

[ThinSoon]

Your post is very funny and at the same time inspirational! You are really going through some temptations!

How about offering them something off of your low carb recipe selection? I bet if you bring in a beach girls cheesecake or something like that, they'll be asking for that all the time! LOL

Wear plastic gloves while baking....

Let us know how it goes, I know you'll be strong!!

Tracey

[LC_Diva]

I really enjoyed your post. I hope that you found your inner strength to resist! Also, on a side note, I can totally relate to you about the birthday situation...

[Marialouise]

OMG, I totally know how you feel, we seem to have had endless outing partys, celebrations etc. all with yummy food on offer ever since i started my diet, my mothers a killer baker too and loves baking but I introduced her to atkins so after shes baked she brings it all to my house so she doesnt eat it!!!
Shes evil I tell you!!!
Youve done so well not to give in to temptation so many times, we'll have pamela anderson figures in no time!!xx

[Alexa]

Haha! You made me literally lol with 'impossibly tiny speed eater from Japan'.

Really hope the dieting gods grant your prayers. I know what I'm about to say will mean zero when faced with the actual brownies but from LONG and BITTER experience it genuinely never tastes as good as you think it will and you will regret it approx 5 seconds after the last brownie has gone.

And wow, what a great manager you are!

[Lauren...]

I have to tell you, this is only my 3rd day doing induction without cheating. The first day I had leftover brownies sitting in my oven. I pigged out the night before I started, and I was actually mad for getting full and falling asleep. Well, I just hurried up, and poured them in the sink, and ran the water on them. I think you should tell yourself how good it feels to maintain control...when your co-workers give in. Thin is worth the effort.

[diamonds]

I wish I had your control. I did great for 2 weeks then cracked but am back on track (I hope) you are doing so good bella, keep it up!!