Self-image and motivation

[Twilight]

I wonder... if we see overselves differently than everyone else sees us. I know that some people, people with eating disorders, think they are fat when they aren't. I know I'm overweight. To me, it's the most obvious thing in the world. The scale, the tape measure, clothing sizes... they all say so with resounding force. But it's like my friends don't even notice. Today, I went shopping with 2 of my friends. And I tried on some sweaters and stuff. I thought I looked horrible in everything. I felt bulge-y and like I had to stand up really tall and hold everything in to not look completely terrible. But my friend Michelle kept saying how great everything looked. And at one point she told me she thought I should be a model. Here is this 5'8" or so girl, who wears a size XS, telling me I should be a model. I sort of scoffed at her and wondered if she needed glasses. I mean, I know we are our own toughest critics, but that was ridiculous.


Have any of you ever felt like maybe your self-image is way different from what everyone else sees? Or even that some people are just really oblivious?


Oh, and the motivation part: I found a sweater that I really liked. It's bright orange and really fun. But the store only had one left, and it was a couple sizes too small. I bought it anyway. And now, I look forward to someday, hopefully soon, fitting into that sweater.

[2big4mysize]

everybody has different tastes and standards by which they measure things like beauty which is why the famous statement beauty is in the eye of the beholder is so true. Obviously yours is very different then your friends.

[Elizellen]

Originally Posted by Twilight

Oh, and the motivation part: I found a sweater that I really liked. It's bright orange and really fun. But the store only had one left, and it was a couple sizes too small. I bought it anyway. And now, I look forward to someday, hopefully soon, fitting into that sweater.

Great motivational tool, Twilight!
I did the same a year ago and bought a leather coat on sale at halfprice which wouldnt button up (a 4 inch gap)!
It is now too big!! A good thing the place I bought it from does alterations!

[Jerrica]

Twilight it is hard to see ourselves as others do. I struggle with that all the time. I feel so different than my friends and for years I have dwelled so much on my fat that it kept me from doing things that I enjoy. Please try not to miss out on life because of your own self image. Have fun!!! live life!!! It has taken me about 7 years to know that my friends and family love me and want me to participate no matter how much I weigh. I think it is great that you bought a shirt that you loved even though it is too small. It shows that you are dedicated to your weightloss.

[Stephie_K]

Well hunni... I can tell you that my whole life none of my friend's ever realized I was much heavier then they were. Most of the time your personality reflects who you are and how people will view you. I have been heavy my whole life and not many people have commented it when I got older. Everyone has always been in wonder why I never was without a boyfriend or why I had so many friends. That is because I refused to let anyone see me weak. But now I want to be healthy for me and only me.

No matter what hold your head high... and when someone compliments you just say "thank-you" and nothing else... say that a few times and I swear it will get easier.

[Twilight]

Hey Steph! Thanks for the advice, and welcome to the forum!

[Lyssie]

I've had that image my whole life, I have always been a yo-yo kinda girl, and when I was 18, I was at 145 for a while but I still viewed myself as being huge. People never really noticed that I was as fat as I am, I think the height helps, but even now my mom, BF and most of my friends all say I have a completely distorted self-image. I see people and I *know* that I'm fatter than they are, but nobody else sees that.

[Lady_Hawke]

what a thought inspiring post.

Good for you Twilight for buying yourself that sweater - I am sure you will be wearing it in no time!

My self image flip flops - when I walk around feeling good about myself, thinking to myself "I am beautiful" my self image is of a much thinner me and I am always shocked to the core when I catch a glimps of my reflection in a window or mirror.
Yet when men flirt with me I never take it seriously, I think "yeah right" or that they are making fun of me.
My friends say I put the "fat" lable on myself that they look at me and just see me for me. That to them it doesn't matter what I weigh they love me for who I am on the inside.

Thanks for making me think this morning. I always enjoy your posts.

[julirama723]

I agree with Stephie--it has a lot to do with personality. I've been bigger most of my life, but most people I know don't see me as "fat." I think it's because I have energy, I'm active, I like being outdoors, and I'm not unattractive--meaning that they see fat as something negative and stereotypical, and they don't see negativity or stereotypes when they look at me. Perhaps they think people who are fat can't be pretty, or energetic. Fat is a bad word to a lot of people, a put-down, rather than just weighing more or being bigger. I see fat as just a descriptive word, like blond, funny, tall, German, fat; something that describes a person, NOT what a person embodies or represents.

Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes, and forms. NOT just size 2!

[Esteliana]

Wow, this is a wonderful thread. I'm surprised that not more people responded to this, but I can completely agree with everything that everyone has been saying. I used to tell myself that I was fat all the time to my ex and my friends, and they would shoot back at me saying that I wasn't fat at all. But, I see it every single time I sit down, when I eat, when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel as if they're lying to me, but then I realize, that I do hold my weight pretty well, so it's not all that noticable that I am overweight. The only one that has actually critiqued my weight and the way I ate, in the most OFFENSIVE way possible is my jerk friend and that was some harsh reality, especially now since he's obsessed with eating healthy because of his dad going through a quadruple bypass.

And I think that we should be losing our weight for ourselves, not for anyone else. If that person will like you, then awesome, but if that person doesn't like you, then they will never be able to see how amazing of a person you truly are.

People are so obsessed with image and narrowminded that they choose their friends by how they look. I'm not saying that everyone does this, but a lot of people do this and it's not right. Who cares if the person is overweight, they're still a great person inside and that's what really counts. But all the superficial people wanting only to be friends with the hottest guys and hottest girls realize eventually they have picked the wrong friends because they can be so fiendishly evil. Their veiw, of course is very distorted for a while, but once everyone gets older, I think they realize how stupid they were back in Junior HIgh, High School, and even college.

Just my 2 cents.