10 lbs down, 40 lbs to go
Posted October 25th, 2009 at 08:31 AM by stephbob
I weighed in a couple of days ago at 160 lbs, and there I've stayed. I've not been eating properly, although I'm not eaten anything high in carbs. I really need to get myself back on track, but I need to get my mind functioning first.
The worst parts about our relationship being over are the fact that he was my best friend, and I've lost him. He hasn't spoken to me since he broke up with me (despite promising he would, as he has a lot he needs to sort out with me - ie. financially) but also the whole anxiety and fear for my future crap. I HATE the whole meeting someone, dating them, getting to know them palaver. But then again, maybe I stayed 6 years in that relationship because of that fear? I dont know.
My head is starting to clear. I'm still sad, but I think it's fear more than anything.
It's my brother's 21st birthday this weekend, so we have a huge party here this afternoon. The food is all carb-junk. Plus 50 family members will be here, no doubt asking me how Luis is and when I'm going to go back. That's going to be 50 times I'll have to explain the same thing over and over again without crying (hopefully)
I also spent some time with someone I called my best friend of 10 years this week. She invited me out to meet her so she could comfort me in my time of need, but instead, she spent 4 hours talking about how great her life is, and wouldn't let me get a word in. Aren't friends great?(!)
The worst parts about our relationship being over are the fact that he was my best friend, and I've lost him. He hasn't spoken to me since he broke up with me (despite promising he would, as he has a lot he needs to sort out with me - ie. financially) but also the whole anxiety and fear for my future crap. I HATE the whole meeting someone, dating them, getting to know them palaver. But then again, maybe I stayed 6 years in that relationship because of that fear? I dont know.
My head is starting to clear. I'm still sad, but I think it's fear more than anything.
It's my brother's 21st birthday this weekend, so we have a huge party here this afternoon. The food is all carb-junk. Plus 50 family members will be here, no doubt asking me how Luis is and when I'm going to go back. That's going to be 50 times I'll have to explain the same thing over and over again without crying (hopefully)
I also spent some time with someone I called my best friend of 10 years this week. She invited me out to meet her so she could comfort me in my time of need, but instead, she spent 4 hours talking about how great her life is, and wouldn't let me get a word in. Aren't friends great?(!)
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Well done with keeping it together steph, its not easy. I know everyone says this, but it does get easier!
With the dating thing, dont worry about it, your a good looking girl, potential new partners will come to you, at least you don't need to go out looking for them! Just give it time and be picky!
Best friends.. People can be funny, they often don't think what they are saying.. She probably did not know what to say to help you and was just trying to bring you up to date with all the gosip and news in her life.. She might also have been afraid of there being any awkward silence.
Give Luis time.. he is probably avoiding you a bit, possibly scared you want to either give him a hard time or beg him to sort things out.. give him space, if he is worthy of being your friend he will be your friend.. if not, then you don't need him.
If the food there is carb junk, try to avoid it, but if you slip up, you have an excuse to slip up, just don't make it a way of life
)
If you don't slip up, we are all just going to be more proud of you than we already are!
Keep it together girl, your doing greatPosted October 25th, 2009 at 09:06 AM by sarbirus
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I agree whole-heartedly with Sarbirus on this one. Your friend was probably just not sure how to handle things and just started talking to fill the silence. It happens to the best of us.
Dating...don't think about it. Don't worry about it. Don't let it even be a consideration because you have a LOT you have to sort through before you'll really be ready to start thinking about that again anyway, right? You have to mourn your old relationship before you will be healthy for the new one....unless you are like me and met your true soulmate 2 weeks after ending your VERY long term relationship. You never know when it will happen, so best not to dwell on it.
Do the best you can with the diet sweety, you are allowed to have bad days as you struggle through this. Just try not to allow it to get you so wound up that you really blow it. Getting you healthy and happy is of top priority!
Wish I could give you a great big hug hun!Posted October 26th, 2009 at 09:10 AM by bellajgw 
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