Something Important All Us Losers Need To Remember

[FattyBoomBatty]

Hi everybody, I am an overweight person being treated for depression - like so many of you who visit this forum. There is a very important matter I would like to bring up - partially for my own benefit, but I am sure others will be drawn to this issue as well.

As you know, depression is a disease of the mind and body. While the body aches, the mind will throw every bit of evidence to your attention why you should be depressed. For those of us who are overweight, being fat becomes a primary focus of much of our depression.

I had been suffering from depression and being overweight for a good portion of my life. When I was 22 years old, I decided that I would once and for all, lose all the weight and would finally achieve happiness. This was the very first time I found the Atkins WOL, and I was very successful in losing close to 40 lbs. over the course of the year. I was not successful, however, in losing the depression. Sure, at first I was very happy with the weight loss, but soon enough the depression came back - and I was actually uncomfortable with a thin body.

Yes, that is right. Soon after a real nasty bout with a major depressive episode, I started seeing a psychiartrist who also offered psychotherapy. The combo of medication & me going off the Atkins WOE caused me to balloon back to my heavy weight, and then some. And as quick as I was to blame the medication (and the medication did rightfully deserve some of the blame) I was surprised with what the therapist pointed out as the real culprit.

Self sabatoge due to unrealistic & body images & associations.

So many of us see weight loss as the ultimate answer to our problems. Some of us hide behind the weight as an excuse not to particpate in certain life activities, others actually believe they embody the concept of being fat (in other words, I don't have a weight problem, I AM the weight problem) So that upon achieving a goal weight or physique, we believe we will literally become different people, better people.

In my case, I suffer from both these psychological issues. I use my weight as an excuse for not participating in social events, and that one day - when the weight is gone, I will. I also have been heavy my entire life, and believe that when I lose the weight, it will be much more than a transformation of size, but of self. Both misconceptions set me up to fail. It did last time, and I am working on stopping them from setting me up this time.

You see, after the weight is lost - all the anxieties over social situations and body image remain. ESPECIALLY considering that I associated myself with being heavy, and not just that I had a weight problem. My therapest pointed out that many people who are overweight suffer from this issue. Some of us become even ashamed of our weight loss, of the sudden attention people start giving us upon seeing a healthier, slimmer us.

Basically what I am saying is, be good to yourselves. Lose the weight to be healthier and look good. But if you are suffering from *clinical depression*, like me, try and recognize any misguided thoughts believing weight loss as the solution to all your problems. It can only set you up for self sabatoge when the weight is lost, but your demons remain lurking.

I know I plan on losing this time around, and keeping it off while learning to be comfortable with myself, fat or thin! And I'll be visiting here alot to make sure I do!

[2big4mysize]

thanks for sharing.

there is a great post in the womens section called psychological obesity and it talks about how we hid from our problems in our fat coat and the need to deal with the problems so we can shed our fat coats.

[FattyBoomBatty]

Originally Posted by 2big4mysize

thanks for sharing.

there is a great post in the womens section called psychological obesity and it talks about how we hid from our problems in our fat coat and the need to deal with the problems so we can shed our fat coats.

Thanks 2Big. I must have missed that thread because I am not female. I assure you, I am the most masculine of males Yes, even we of the opposite sex have body issues.

[Jerzaka]

First of all, great thread! Just love it!

Second, I stupidly assumed you were female too.

SORRY!

[2big4mysize]

maybe if you ask Kent he can sneak the orifinal post over to the boys forum. i always thought it was in the most memeorable topics forum but some admin yrs ago moved it to the womens forum.

[changing]

Thank you, FBB... you are so right with this. I've had similiar experiences in the past, and I so agree that a weight problem can often hide other underlying problems that must be dealt with, because we tend to focus so much of our frustration toward the weight problem and blame it for everything.


I must say, it meant a lot to me to see a man post this... it reassures me that it's not just a female problem, but a human problem, something I'm sure a lot of people, with the obesity epidemic, are facing in the United States right now.

Thanks again for your post.

[FattyBoomBatty]

Originally Posted by Jerzaka

First of all, great thread! Just love it!

Second, I stupidly assumed you were female too.

SORRY!

LOL, don't worry. One of the great things about these boards is honesty without fear of judgement. Of course I realize depression and body images are much talked about female issues, but its really not gender specific. I was surprised to learn from my therapist that he treats MANY men with the same issues - although the physique we aspire to have IS MUCH different than yours

Fat is fat, depressed is depressed. We're all human, and we all relate to each other. As far as I am concerned with the anominity board posting gives us, we have the chance to not only help ease our depression and weight problems - but also learn a little something about us & others as well!

[Jerzaka]

Changing,

Well said!

Can I second that?

[changing]

Originally Posted by Jerzaka

Changing,

Well said!

Can I second that?

But of course!

[FattyBoomBatty]

Originally Posted by changing

I must say, it meant a lot to me to see a man post this... it reassures me that it's not just a female problem, but a human problem,

Yes, it is most certainly a human problem - I suppose its the price we pay for being so self-aware. And in my humble opinion, NO ONE is more self aware than somebody who is physically different than others (see overweight individuals).

When we associate ourselves with being overweight, are teased for being overweight (and teasing can come in many many many forms) we associate our poor self-image with being fat. Eliminate the fat, you eliminate your worries right? Nope.

In fact, next to not being able to change old eating habbits, I would say this could be one of the leading causes to us regaining our weights (for those of us STAC members). For me - I actualy felt guilty being thin - as if I was fooling everybody into thinking I was somebody I wasn't. And after trying to "fly under the radar" for so many years, I was terribly uncomfortable with the attention that dramatic weight loss brings you. I even resented it. And I firmly believe that there was a part of me that was actually TRYING to re-gain the weight once I went off Atkins.

This is why I was so thrilled to find that the ADBB had an entire forum dedicated to depression - something I am very familiar with, both from battling it & from studying about psychology. I think its very important that anybody suffering from both weight issues and depression issues - are most likely suffering from atypical depression (emotional eating, oversleeping, severe rejection sensitivity) which makes them likely candidates for this issue.

And I just wanted to let everybody know they were not alone (and to make sure that I was not alone either )