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Here I go !!!

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I did not know I could have a blog here, so this is new to me. I have a blog on word press but have not posted much but since I am here a lot, this will be fun !!
I am on this journey to get healthy. I have known for way too long I had to lose weight and that if I did not lose weight diabetes was in my future.
Finally it is here. My doctor looked me in the eye and said I either take care of this now and lose the weight or I had ten good years before I start having serious health problems. He was not kidding.
He wants me to have weight loss surgery but I really do not want to do that. I can't. I have read what you eat and all about it as he gave me a book about all the differant surgerys and what happens and oh heck no !!
I have to live healthier. I have to lose this weight. I have to do what is right for my body or I am going to run out of chances really fast.
I have such a wonderful husband and four amazing kids , three of whom have blessed us with in law kids and now going on eight grand kids amoung them. That is a lot to live for.
I have so many dreams, we have so many dreams, my hubby and I and I want to be here to enjoy them, not sick or worse in ten years.
I have forgiven myself for what I have done by neglecting my health. I have been mad at myself, really ticked off and I have said not so nice things to myself and then I thought about it. I would never say those things to my child, or husband or friend in this position, so why would I say it to myself ?
I forgive myself for not making the right decsions and sometimes , no, many times being impulsive, which being an adult ADDer is something I sometimes do, I eat without thinking, I just do. Let me rephrase that, I USED to do that. Not any more.
I decided that I like the person I am. I like the life I have. I want to grow that life and finally now that our kids are grown, start doing things for me. It is time.
This weight is a literal weight on my shoulders, holding me back, not only mentally, but physcially from doing so much of what I want to do.
That is changing every day. I feel less bloated, and my face is looking a lot less bloated and I just feel better than I have in a while.
I know I will get this weight off this time, even though I lost count at close to forty attempts on low carb. I love myself and my family too much to let any of us down. I do not want to see the fear in my kids eyes if I get sick, or my husbands pain if I am not able to do the things we have dreamed of doing as I will see my own pain reflected in thier eyes.
I will never see that pain because I mean business and will do this the old fashioned successful way. One day at a time, like any other recovering addict. My addiction is food. Bad for me, unhealthy food. I own it and I will continue my recovery for the rest of my life because I think everyone knows, you never are recovered from an addiction, you are always recovering because you can never even for one minute, let down your guard.
Addictions make no sense, it is hard to admit you have no control over something in your life, but it is what it is.
So, here I go, off on this wonderful journey to save a life and a family, mine !!!
Stephie

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