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Kagi

Kagi vs. The Pringle

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Well, it happened. After all this bragging to my friends and others about "not having any cravings at all for the junk food..." - I found myself walking through the kitchen only to come face to face with the Cheddar Cheese Pringle Can. Once immune to it's wily ways, today the kryptonite seemed particularly shiny... OOooo... Shiny...

No! I tried to counter to the left, but The Pringle deftly intercepted me.

I tried juking to the right - but to no avail... it scoffed at my feeble attempts.

Before I knew it, I had the can in my hand, scanning the nutrients for SOME beneficial ingredient. Something that would justify consuming this entire can of pringles for that SOLE macrobiotic treasure that would make the difference!

I could see it now, my own show on the Home Shopping Network. "How Kagi lost a 100 pounds by consuming Pringles - and YOU CAN TOO!" I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams!

As I pondered my impending wealth, I found that I had opened the can and pulled back the flimsy tinfoil protective layer - which proved to be inadequate against my deft kung-fu skills. The faint smell of faux cheddar cheese dusting touched my nose.

In the back of my mind, a fleeting voice warned -- "Wait! Eat a cheddar cheese slice! A bit of tomato! Fry an egg!"

But, it was too late. The Pringle had me in it's grasp! I was powerless against it's lucrative whisper... "Despite popular opinion and a high-dollar advertising campaign -- you can have JUST ONE!" It's siren song was strong... my will was failing fast.

Just then, as fate would have it - something broke me from the trance! Another figure appeared and grabbed the Pringle from my hands! I was saved from the clutches of Empty Carb Canyon! I looked toward my savior -- my hero -- with a feeble word of thanks poised on my lips...

"Dad! What the heck are you doing?! These are mine! What about your blood sugar?! Geesh... Don't be stupid."

And like that, my compassionate, energetic young ward disappeared with the Pringle. In the wispy after moments of Pringle Nirvana, I heard it scream as it vanished, never to be seen again.

Well, at least until the next can...

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Comments

  1. StevenB's Avatar
    "...pulled back the flimsy tinfoil protective layer - which proved to be inadequate against my deft kung-fu skills."
    Its the new and improved Kagi! Now available with Kung-Fu Grip! Not available in stores, call now! Operators are standing by!

    I can also just SEE the eye roll accompanied by the young ward right around 'Geesh... Don't be stupid.'

    Nice creative post


    "OOooo...Shiny...." Was it an adamantium pringle can? Because THAT would have been AWESOME. (if not a teeny bit pricey)
  2. Lady_Hawke's Avatar
    Kagi youre so daymm funny

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