Stop the Self-Sabotage

[cleochatra]

Today is Friday. Pizza night.

As I sit here at my computer and look at the calendar, it occured to me that nothing killed pizza night faster than me following this way of eating. But it took a little effort.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn right away. I thought I was strong enough to continue the tradition of mondo-pizza-pizza and let everyone else eat the Italian pie without being tempted. Maybe I was being strong to impress my husband, because on weekends he was away due to business, I'd eat that pizza, and I'd make no bones about it.

As a result, I was sabotaging my own efforts.

I realize now that my reasons for NOT eating the pizza in the first place were because of external circumstances. That is, I didn't want to disappoint my husband; therefore, I didn't eat the pizza.

There was no common sense or motivation for ME to want to stop eating the pizza, and, as a result of my success being dependent on him, when he wasn't around, I just blew a gasket and ate.

It was only when I took responsibility for ME, rather than placing it on others that I really made the conscious decision to stop sabotaging my own efforts. It's easy to place blame on others for keeping the food around, or for a tradition you're afraid to break.

It's easy to say, "I'm just a victim of everyone else's whims".

It's easy, while we're shovelling in the licorice to say, "I didn't get to the gym today because it was raining, so why not eat the licorice?"

It's harder to make a conscious decision to change those habits. To stop the self-sabotage.

You want to see the best manipulator you know? Look in the mirror. We've trained ourselves over years to react to situations the way we do. We'll willingly manipulate a situation towards our failure, which results in our receiving the food reward.

We've made ourselves rats in a maze of fat. We get to the end and we're stuffing pizza into our mouths and we think we've won. We think THIS is our reward.

The irony is that, years later, while we're still hiding behind our excuses for failure we wonder why we can't escape those behaviors.

It's just because we haven't trained ourselves or thought enough about it.

So, the next time you're tempted to ruin what you're doing because you've slipped back into the fat-rat-in-the-maze-of-self-sabotage, here are some strategies which will help, if you give them the chance.

1) If you know you pizza is your weakness, don't order it, buy it, or keep it around. I don't care how strong you are. Does the coke addict buy the drugs on the streetcorner for his friends and then sit happily by sipping his mocha latte? No. So why put the temptation out there.

2) If you have a tradition centered around food, change the tradition! Traditions came from somewhere, and weren't always in place. I don't care if Adam and Eve ate the apple. Your garden of Eden is comprised of low-glycemic foods. And look where the apple got them!

3) If one negative behavior leads to another, change that response or behavior. If missing the gym means you're going to treat yourself by abusing your blood sugar levels, really think about it-- where is the common sense in that? At least admit, "I am doing nothing good for my body. So, instead, I am going to do more nothing good for my body."

If it's raining outside and it ruins your gym plans, make a contingency plan. If yoiu're working late, take a break to walk in place, walk to your car and back, anything to get out and move. Go for walks at lunch instead of hedging your bets on making those late gym days.

If you know you're too tired to exercise after work, exercise some other part of the day. We have a 24-hour day. Of that, 9 hours is spent working and 8 are spent sleeping. There's no reason not to get in 30 minutes a day.

If you DO miss the gym, change your self-destructive behavior. You will, instead, bike to work. Or you'll go home and put on some exercise gear, eat a fit dinner, do some light aerobics and then paint your nails or work on a hobby you really enjoy (so long as the hobby isn't eating licorice).

4) If you are tempted to cheat

• STOP!
• Ask yourself, "Why does this happen?"
• "What is the real problem?"
• "What can I do differently to alleviate the stress I am feeling from this situation?"

Write it down. Write everything that is bothering you and how you can respond in a non-food manner.

5) Think about it. React to situations in a practical manner.

Are you tired? Sleep.
Are you angry? Write a letter you never intend to send.
Are you bored? Go for a walk. Work in the Garden. Watch a Netflix movie.
Are you overwhelmed? Exercise. The endorphins will make you feel better. Relax. Analyze what is causing you stress.

6) Take action. Are you stressed out because you feel you have no control over your life?

What, precisely, is causing you to have stress? For me, it was when I felt the house was a mess.

Solution? Well, it used to be so sit on the couch and eat Milk Duds in lieu of actually doing something about my dilemma. Now, I make a list of six small things I will do and put it on a post-it note. As I finish each task, I toss the little slip of paper. You'd be amazed at how much you can accomplish on six post-it notes per day!

Again, we all are prone to self-sabotage of one sort or another, but the actions we take can either send us down that maze looking for the Strawberry malted milk balls, or they can send us in a new and exciting direction.

Tonight is Friday Family night for me. No more pizza. Just a healthy, lower-carb dinner, board games, laughter, and memories with my family.

Get out of the maze and start living your life. You can do it.

[jsj0305]

All I have to say is STICKY!!!!! This will really help me when I'm feeling weak and really wanting pizza!!

[Yoly1001]

Originally Posted by cleochatra

Today is Friday. Pizza night.

You want to see the best manipulator you know? Look in the mirror. We've trained ourselves over years to react to situations the way we do. We'll willingly manipulate a situation towards our failure.

I couldn't agree with this more, we are our own worst enemy. I couldn't get past this line, I just sat there and stared at it for a minute, so true, not only about food but about many other things as well.

Thank you for writing this out so that other people can come here and see it, you are always so helpful.

[Isabeau]

Bravo, Cleo. Wonderful post.

[cleochatra]

Thank you for the positive vibes! I was on this total "Owen-Wilson" 'whoaa whiz whiz whiz coming at me in all directions' (Zoolander) subconscious trip this morning. It was a feeling of absolute and total clarity. Or maybe the spicy sausage.

[ttdriver]

PREACH IT SISTA!!


LOVE IT!

Ya know, I used to be on a LC board where this post would get you banned .. I should know, cuz my hard-core stance got me banned from there!! Well guess what ... from what I hear, them folk are still cheating and sabotaging themselves and wondering why they can't lose weight. HELLO CLUELESS!

DANG, I LOVE THIS BOARD!

Betty

[AllieCat0817]

Thank you for this post. It NEEDED TO BE SAID, even if the people who need to read it most don't visit ADBB cause ADBB is all about business.

[I lost it]

WE can be our own enemy,but we can also be our best friend. They say we can choose our friends and friends take care of friends. Before I eat anything I look in the mirror and ask myself would a good friend want me to eat all that knowing where I came from, It usually sends me in another direction.

[Peytonn]

I'm already worried about Christmas dinner at Mama's... I'll probably be bad... but then somebody said once.. one special day doesn't make you fat... it's the other 364 days of the year.... see I'm doing it again... justifying self destruction

[ChixRule]

I love you Cleo! You are just so awesome. Whenever I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it never fails that I find a post from you to cheer me up or help me to better cope w/ my feelings.

Have I mentioned that I'm glad you are back? haha

Originally Posted by ttdriver

PREACH IT SISTA!!

Ya know, I used to be on a LC board where this post would get you banned .. I should know, cuz my hard-core stance got me banned from there!! Well guess what ... from what I hear, them folk are still cheating and sabotaging themselves and wondering why they can't lose weight. HELLO CLUELESS!

DANG, I LOVE THIS BOARD!

Betty

What about this post would have caused her to be banned from another board? I'm just wondering.... My goodness, I'm glad I didn't end up on THAT board. haha