Depressed and Worried

[Goldfinger]

Hi All:

I know I don't post much (mostly lurk, as you can tell by my 13 posts in 7 months!), but this has been eating me up inside for a while now...

Over the past month or so, I have become a bit disillusioned when I visit ADBB. DON'T WORRY, not because of the board itself or the people. I draw inspiriation from everyone's stories and successes. It is a great place to motivate me. Sometimes...

Lately, I can't keep from dwelling on the fact that a lot of us at ADBB tend to disappear off the radar for a while, only to come back after having fallen off the wagon and gaining back significantly. Let me give you some background on me: I have been dieting (or trying to) since the 80's when I was a 'big' teenager. I have lost 80 (250-170), 95 (295-200), and 50 (300-250) lbs in the past. In all cases, the weight was put on and then some, because I slipped up. Every time I fell off the wagon, it took roughly 5-6 years to get to the 'mindset' that it was time to do it again. This time, following the Atkins WOL, I have managed to go from 326 (my heaviest ever), to 188 where I am now. I am still going strong (I HAVE NOT CHEATED IN ONE YEAR! and am still losing 5 lb a month) and intend to be at goal sometime next year. However, there is a worry in the back of my mind that I cannot shake: Will I fall off the wagon? If I do, then history suggests I will be at 350+ within 1-2 years. As most of us know, once it goes downhill, we are powerless to stop it.

This is how ADBB does not make it easier for me... I have seen some very dedicated fellow members (no names mentioned) fall off the wagon hard. Some people who disappeared I would have never expected to fall off the wagon. But they did... I can tell that others are shaky and are about to fall off. Still others just fade away never to be heard from again. A co-worker of mine decided to cheat on some chocolate 6 months ago. He has gained back 10 lbs of a 40 lb weight loss and can do nothing to reverse it. I fully understand because I have been there. To top it off, the STAC forum is the 4th most popular behind Journals (doesn't really count), Main Atkins, and 14-Day Induction. What does this tell us?

Because of where I am and what has happened in the past, I have developed what I would consider to be a 'carb phobia'. It's that bad. That one bite of a sweet or a potato/rice/pasta/bread that will destroy a year of hard work. I won't even consider it, yet I'm consumed by the thought of slipping up every day.

I guess what I'm asking is the following question, coming from someone who has been overweight his entire life: Do I really have a chance?

[Bren]

You bet you do! I KNOW YOU DO!! You are only a commitment away and it sounds to me like you have made that commitment!
I am 50 years old, spent 47 of those years overweight. I am three years on this WOE and now it is a complete habit. I do not honestly believe I will ever ever change. You are not alone in that fear. Trust me..... we are like addicts. I know my addiction and I know I have to stay strong. I always have a plan. I never risk it. We just celebrated Thanksgiving. I made sure I had what I needed to do it without a cheat. Low carb cheesecake, it kept me from blowing it. You must ALWAYS have a plan! Or as they say, plan to fail.
I believe you are going to do it as you "know" exactly what you have to do and what not to do. You have admitted your weakness and are aware of it. Now, never ever try to convince yourself that it does not exist and more importantly always be aware of it and NEVER get complacent.
Several things keep me strong. #1.....this place. #2.... my job as a fitness instructor (who would have thought) and I now run weightloss classes. I always say, If I can do it, anyone can.
You can do and you will do it!
Have a mantra...... three years and I still have a mantra. I will have it the rest of my life. Find what works for you.
Now, do me a big favor?
YOU HAVE ALREADY HAD A TREMDOUS SUCCESS!!!!!!! SHARE IT WITH US HERE!!!!!!
Become more active. The more you help people the more you help yourself and never even realize it!
oh and WELCOME TO ADBB!!!

[Sheshy]

Goldfinger,

What rung are you in now? I wonder because of the 'carb-phobic' comment...

I'm concerned that after a year of success, you're having so much doubt in yourself and your ability to maintain once you hit goal.

And regarding other people on this board and whether they fall off the Atkins wagon for a day or so...or longer and gain some weight...I'm not sure why that has an affect on you. Just because someone else is having some problems or they've chosen to go back to old eating habits doesn't mean Atkins wol doesn't work for you. That's their personal choice and it proves they're human.

I think most people that have reduced their carbs significantly understand there's no going back...period. You're never going to be able to eat the crap that you ate to gain the weight. No one should fool themselves into thinking that they're going to develop a control mechanism just because they've reached goal or have lost a lot of weight.

As far as your question - if you follow the rungs through maintenance, weigh yourself and respond if you see more than normal fluctuation in weight, there is no reason you can't have success for life...it really is a personal decision we all make day to day.

Take care and you can do this!

PS:

Originally Posted by Goldfinger

....the STAC forum is the 4th most popular behind Journals (doesn't really count)

Yes, Journals do really count, we're supportive just like the other forums, thank you very much !

[cleochatra]

You bet your sweet bippee you don't have to gain that back!

You know, some of us do fall off the wagon from time to time. It's how we choose to deal with the situation that makes us stronger.

We are stronger because we know what happened, have analyzed the behavior and will not be doomed to repeat it.

We're a cerebral board of thinkers and doers. We are sometimes emotional but very pragmatic. Will a person gain weight back if they sabotage themselves? Yes. We discuss what causes the sabotages. We analyze. We put forth a plan. We spring into action. We summarize whether the action worked. We make a note of it for the next time something happens again.

We can stop the cycle because we are smart. We are rational. We are ADBBers.

People who fall hard usually stop posting here. And then it spirals. Support boards are here for a reason: to give support. The STAC's presence doesn't in any way signify failure.

I've lost 115 pounds! I'm in that forum. I am not a failure! I am a success story in the making.

We all are!

You will be too.

And no one says that weight has to come back on.

To get right with our head we will be right with ourselves. To be strong we must know where we are weak. To be brave, we must acknowledge our fears. To be human, we have to embrace our frailties and stop the cycles of self-abuse, bad self-conditioning, and negative programming.

But you can do that! You can! And you will.

And by God it's my job as a moderator and a member at ADBB to see that everyone at this board who wants it gets that success. And that means you, too.

Want that success. Be that success. I know we're a board of wonderful human beings, each who deserve the best the world has to offer! Stumbling along the way doesn't make the journey any less worthwhile.

Especially when you have friends along for the ride.

[Goldfinger]

Originally Posted by Sheshy

Goldfinger,

What rung are you in now? I wonder because of the 'carb-phobic' comment...

I'm concerned that after a year of success, you're having so much doubt in yourself and your ability to maintain once you hit goal.

Have gone up to 7: Fruits. I can't see myself going much higher as I'm not a starchy veg person and I don't think I'll touch the grains.

Originally Posted by Sheshy

And regarding other people on this board and whether they fall off the Atkins wagon for a day or so...or longer and gain some weight...I'm not sure why that has an affect on you. Just because someone else is having some problems or they've chosen to go back to old eating habits doesn't mean Atkins wol doesn't work for you. That's their personal choice and it proves they're human.

I'm a numbers person, and numbers don't lie. There are thousands of 'members' on this board without any REAL lasting success. Myself, I'm 0 for 3 (soon to be 1 for 4 ). I know it has no bearing on me, but I worry about the unknown because it has happened to me in the past. I remember very clearly preaching to everyone who would listen during my last 'diet' seven years ago that I would NEVER gain the weight back because I had learned from my mistakes. Guess what? I did. And I think I have amazing willpower.

I guess I'm just worried.

Originally Posted by Sheshy

PS:
Yes, Journals do really count, we're supportive just like the other forums, thank you very much !

Sorry, I didn't mean that they do not count in that sense. I just meant that the number of posts are inflated because everyone makes it a point to post daily. That's the purpose of a Journal...

[soliwit]

Dearest goldfinger,
I think that maybe cause you are scared you might have concentrated more on the people that fell off the wagon than on the ones that didn't........they do also exist !!
And they are also quite many !!!
They are the prove that YOU will also be able to do this, cause you made a choice, a choice for health !!!!
It might be a good idea to maybe not lurk as much and indeed become more active, don't eat yourself up but vent, cause I am sure it will help you to feel you are supported.
Also you can learn others a whole lot by telling them your experiences, you did a WONDERFULL job so far and hey, that's what we all want, so maybe you can learn us the tricks of your trade you know.
And this is something I don't buy:

As most of us know, once it goes downhill, we are powerless to stop it.

Why would it be that when you start doing something wrong, there is no way back, of course you can turn around, you can say the very next day "what am I doing?" and just get back on the wagon.
By saying there is no way back, you are already deciding that once you make a wrong decision you WILL make it on and on and so you already made it a fact.
The fact that your co-worker can't stop his downfall or that you couldn't in the past is NO GARANTEE that you will fail now !!!!!!
If anything it could even make you stronger, cause you can learn from it by observing.

I hope we will be able to take a bit of your worry away from you and make you a happy loser again

[divaindubai]

Dear Goldfinger,

Welcome to eventhough you arent' really a newbie, but you just decided to come out of Lurking mode!

I know I'm not the best weight loss success story on this board, or in general, but I know I have my downfalls like many people do.

I can tell you one thing though about what I've noticed about this Way of eating (Atkins), It has changed the overall way that I am eating. Even if I might not be following it 100% to the bone (otherwise I would have had a huge weight loss by now, and I know that it is my fault for not following it all the time 100%), it is having a good effect on how I am choosing my daily foods to eat. I am definitely not eating anywhere near the carbs that I used to eat, that is for sure. I don't have sugar in my tea or in my drinks, I use Splenda only. I feel guilty if I even think about having sugar, it makes me sick if I think about using sugar in my drinks. Those are just some of the examples of how this WOE has changed me for the better, eventhough I might not be following it 100% at the moment, or during periods of time.

I am happy because my weight is coming off very slowly, but surely. I know that if I followed this WOE to the bone it would definitely come off very quickly I'm sure, or quicker than it is, but I'm admitting to my reality at this moment.

If anything good is coming out of this for me, it is definitely this gradual but slow weight loss (which is better than not losing at all, or gaining! yikes), as well as understanding my body much better and making much better food choices for myself and my family.

Just my two cents worth!

Hope this helps you at all!

[2big4mysize]

you can sit her and statistically prove anything you want to but that doesn't change the fact that you are one ondividual and your sucess or failure will depend on your hard work period not mine nor cloe's nor anybody who you admired on ADBB and they didn't make it.

I'm sure you have seen Charles Barkleys speech on he isn't a role model neither are we. Everybody here is here because they have a problem with carboydrates that causewd them to become unhealthy and overweight period.

You can accept responsiblkility for your actions and yourself.you can use numbers to say 9 out of 10 folk who lose weight gain it all back but why would you even think you were going to be the 9 failures? if you are giving up just cause others didn't or wouldn't make the effort like your friend at work who can't lose the weight again then i fell sorry for you cause yep you will be a big gainer again. Work your program to the best of your ability. admitting you are a carboholic is a big step in getting it done.

If you think you are about to cheat and slide down that skllippery slope the CC folk all know about come and post and talk with other low carbers and learn stratages to help you not do it but don't come "knowing statistically you are going to be a failure cause you don't know and you will not be one unless you allow it.

[Sheshy]

Hi Goldfinger,

I'm glad to hear you're moving up the rungs, that's great. And I understand about the grain rung...bread was always a weakness for me too, so I'll likely always limit it in my plan.

I've noticed the member numbers too, and I look at it like this...there are a lot of people that think of Atkins as a fast way to lose some weight, period. They don't read past Induction and don't even consider sticking with the plan...they're still looking for a quick fix. I think many hear about Atkins and want to try it, they find it's not for them and then disappear. But you know, I think most plans would show the same thing. Losing weight is hard, it takes dedication to a plan and sticking with it for the rest of your life, regardless of the type of woe.

So, I have a question for you, Goldfinger, looking back when you gained weight back in the past...can you put your finger on what your thought process was when you started gaining? Was it stress or boredom with the woe? Maybe identifying those thoughts will help you feel more comfortable as you get closer to goal now. Plan for the possibility of self sabotage, how will you deal with it this time...

You're a success and you've done such a fantastic job losing weight, you should be proud of yourself and not worried...just be prepared and continue to plan for your future success!

[Kent]

I go back to the fact I now know the key to losing weight and keeping it off. Before this WOE, I was lost. I tried multiple times to lose weight, and failed each and everytime. I am coming up on two years eating this way, and I don't have any fear that one day I will be tripped up to regain the weight because I know what put me there in the first place. I can't unlearn the lessons this last year has taught me. Even if I ignore them, the lessons are still ingrained in my head. Eat an abundance of processed whites, and I will gain weight.

Perhaps the fact STAC is our 4th largest forum is not so much a symbol of our communal failure to stick with the diet, but the fact the diet is WOL. Even when we fail, we return back to what worked for us in the past.

As most of us know, once it goes downhill, we are powerless to stop it.

That is where you and I really differ. I may been a carb addict, but I have been given the power to stop the addiction in it tracks. I fail to do so, but that does not mean I was powerless to it. Just my point of view.