confessions of a post-holiday carbaholic

[Carbaholic]

Hi there,

i have just returned from a two and a half week trip to the beautiful North Carolina, where I had an amazing vacation.

However, I am here to confess that I cheated big time this last week:

The whole holiday seemed to be based around food - I think food must be the number one hobby in the US. Food is so cheap and plentiful and in such abundance.
My boyfriend and I were staying with his family in Greensboro, and evenings and weekends and all the family events wer pretty much based around eating, and, as no-one else is on a low-carb eating program, we ate out in places such as cheesecake shops, Cold Stone Creamery ice-cream stores, bagel shops - and though the first week I was okay (I did have some fruit, but mainly berries), I have to admit, eating the patties out of the burgers, having a couple of rashers of bacon instead of a filled bagel, and settling for sweet frozen cream with splenda instead of ice-cream made me feel miserable and like a spoilsport, like I was missing out when everyone else was having their yummy holiday treats. his was especially true when family friends came round for July 4th and had gone to loads of trouble to make angel food cake, and homemade breads for us.

I'm, sure you can see where this is leading... When we went for a trip to an italian restaurant and everyone else was tucking into buttery garlic ciabatta's, though I didn't order a pasta dish, I had a chicken breast and shrimp entreeI did have a piece of the garlic bread.

The next night at an Indian restaurant, I had some naan breads and a creamy kashmiri curry that contained dates, mango and sultanas.

For the last week I decided that if it was bothering me that much then I would give up on the diet for a week and get back onto induction when I was back from holiday, so I spent a week eating loads of fruit (because really though I whole heartedly agree with the lowcarb way of life, I am never going to be able to or agree with cutting fruit out entirely), some chocolate, a couple of hugely gluttonous ice creams, some chips, some brownies, singapore noodles, a bagel, cookies, a breakfast sandwich, danish pastry, and a half of a pizza.
And I loved it - sorry, but it was really yummy, and though I felt guilty the first time I cheated (perhaps because I was so zealous before, barely even coming off of induction in almost two months), I felt sure that I would stick to my one-week rule.

While I am in confession mode, I also didn't exercise as much as I should have: I spent a fair bit of time in the pool, but just mucking around - I only did proper exercise swimming on two occasions, and i also went to the gym once, and went wakeboarding one afternoon - man is that ever a great resistance workout!!! I thought I was in reasonable shape, but I ached EVERYWHERE for the rest of the week - what a great way to exercise, and sooooo much fun. Pity it's not more easy fit in everyday!

So I can feel in my clothes that I have been bad, but I am not looking for a pat on the back and sympathy - I am responsible for what goes in my mouth and now I have a ton of extra work to do, but I thought that rather than shy away from here in shame, I would put my hands up and own up. I suppose I do beat myself up loads over what I eat even when I am being really good, and this gets tiring - but I am not looking to justify my binge - it was gross, and pure gluttony and on most occasions, I ate until I felt physically sick - I guess I can't just have a little of a treat - I am truly a sugar/carb addict!!

I am now back on induction, like I said I would be, there are no carbs in the house now, just 'good' foods and veggies, and once I am over my jet lag, I will be hitting up the gym in my new running shoes (truly, if I went today, I would fall on my face on the treadmill...).

So, I would appreciate if anyone has any feedback for me, or has been through similar.
Has anyone else had any extended bingeing periods?
Would you suggest that I weigh and measure myself, or just go by the way I feel and my clothes?
How long shall I go back on induction for?
What would you suggest for that 'left-out' miserable feeling when everyone around you is eating ice-cream or garlic bread?

Thanks guys!

[not2late]

Originally Posted by Carbaholic

Has anyone else had any extended bingeing periods?
Would you suggest that I weigh and measure myself, or just go by the way I feel and my clothes?
How long shall I go back on induction for?
What would you suggest for that 'left-out' miserable feeling when everyone around you is eating ice-cream or garlic bread?

Where in the diet were you before you fell off?

If you were on Induction, pick up where you left off.

If you were in OWL or Pre-Maintenance, check to see if you are still in ketosis. If you are, then pick up where you left off. If not drop to Induction for a few days to get back into ketosis, then go back to your previous OWL/Pre-Maintenance level. Remember it takes about 2-3 days for you to use up your glycogen and begin burning fat again.

Weighing/measuring is up to you. Personally, I would do it just so you have a record of what uncontrolled eating will do to you. And that might inspire you to avoid it in the future, or at least make better choices for yourself.

As for feeling left out.....I take a look around and see what size the people who are "enjoying" themselves with ice creams, pizzas, and bread sticks. There are several ice cream places in my area with long lines that go around the corner. At least where I am, 60% of them are overweight/obese. Ditto for the folks coming out of "all you can eat buffets". Seeing their size is one way for me to steer clear of those foods. I've put in way too much time and effort to be extra-extra-extra-extra large like them again.

[Sweet_Sadie]

Bad, BAD, BAD, Carbaholic!!! I think you must just WANT a spanking! Ha ha ha!

Personally, when I read about your fall off the wagon, I was surprised at myself for not feeling envy at the foods you listed that used to call my name and have such a power over me. I only found Atkins last month but for once in my life I am free of Carbohydrate/Sugar cravings.

Yes, my WHOLE LIFE has been an escalating extended binging period and I always thought it was ME being a pig or out-of-control and I always thought there was something wrong with me because I was always hungry and never felt satisfied. I was totally surprised when I was tested and didn't have a thyroid problem because I knew I was ALWAYS HUNGRY and other people didn't feel the same way!

I don't feel left out or miserable when everyone around me is eating stuff I know I can't eat anymore. I just find something I can eat and am thankful that I can finally picture me as not being obese one day!

You are on the right track starting back on induction and knowing you can't eat like that all the time! I wish I had found Atkins before I ever was over 100 pounds overweight!

[MotherOfGizmo]

You were about 30 minutes from me and you didn't stop by?

[ValidRouge]

I was in Winston-Salem last week for a quick 2 day trip!

Anyway, about your binge...You have a choice now...back to Atkins or back to the binge. Since you're here, you've chosen right...Back to Atkins. Just get yourself back in ketosis and keep on going!!

[boonie stomper]

Suggestions from an experienced binger: keep it fresh how awful you felt, both physically and mentally. The bloated feeling; gas; stomach aches; guilt; depression; self-shaming. Looking at the "regulars" who look as if they've been binging awhile helps, too. Remember "A second on the lips, years on the hips". When you feel self pity because everyone is celebrating with gluttony and you feel deprived and needy, there are lots of lavish ways to get around the feeling of being left out. You can be the one having the massage, day at the spa, ordering the lobster, caviar, exotic cheese, giant shrimp or filet mignon, etc.
In any case, the sooner you get back on track, the better. And the longer you maintain, the easier it will be to feel nothing emotional towards someone else's poison.

[sallyseachange]

Glad you chose to come back to Atkins after your lapse. It's so easy to fall by the wayside permanently.
You've had good advice from the others, so now's the time to just look forward. The past is past and though you surely had fun, think how much fun it will be to hit your goal!!
Here's to your honesty and your safe return to a healthy WOE!

[msnicksmom]

OK, I just reread my post, and I’m maybe harsh by the end of it, so please know I mean this in the most loving way I can. I’m gunning today.



First off, you did the exact right thing posting and I hope you get some great responses. Your comments about accepting responsibility are very good and encouraging about how far you’ve come. Now, to answer your questions:

• Yes, my whole pregnancy and nursing period. I couldn’t get enough sugar. I still lost weight, but I also realized I had lost control. I couldn’t WAIT to get back on the program.
• I would just go by the way I feel and look in my clothes. I hate the scale. And measuring is a good tool, but in this case you likely have some water bloat, so not a true picture either.
• I wouldn’t go back to induction at all. I’d pick up where I left off. Now, if I don’t notice a change in my clothes, I’d rethink in a couple weeks. Esp since your comment about never having fruit again, I’d suggest re-reading the OWL chapter of DANDR and figuring out how you can have fruit and still lose weight. I eat fruit every day.
• Miserable? Left out? Believe me, I was MUCH more miserable when I couldn’t keep up with my kids, carry my kids with out hurting, or button my size 16 jeans. Left-out? I couldn’t play volleyball because I just couldn’t, couldn’t splash in the water because I was too self conscious, and couldn’t get my picture taken with my kids because “I’m not REALLY that fat.”

Now, your highest weight is just in to overweight category, and your start weight is well within normal range…so maybe you’ve never felt those things? Maybe you’re shooting for an unrealistic goal? 126 for 5’8” if I read correctly, and maybe that is just not reasonable to maintain in the real world. You can go on holiday and have some treats and not “eat until you feel physically sick”…if YOU can. A carboholic maybe can’t. If you can stop at a large ice cream cone and not feel sick the next day and not have to have MORE every time, more power too you.



But I digress. When I DO feel that miserable left out feeling because my girlfriends are sharing a dessert and I only have coffee, or DH orders pizza and I have to scrounge in the kitchen for something for me…I go look in the mirror. I hold out the waist band of my BAGGY size 6 capris. I do 10 pushups because I CAN. I flex my bicep where there is an actual muscle now. I remember the AWESOME pumpkin cheesecake I have in the freezer, or how hungover I felt after eating an anniversary real dessert. You know what? I do these things every day before I get that feeling.



I was fat. And not as fat as some good friends I’ve made on these boards. But fat enough to be FAT. I’m not going there again. And when I look at other skinny people, because I finally can see I’m one of them, eating treats or meals I know I don’t choose anymore, and I have a whiny moment? I pull out my fat girl picture and tell her “BYE BYE”.

[presidentholmes]

Enjoy your induction, stay on it for as long as you like.
We only live once so there's no prob endulging once in a while and I'm glad you had a great hol.
And welcome back to the fold.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee

[Carbaholic]

thanks very much for the sage advice guys - I appreciate the tips.


Msnicksmom:

• ''Yes, my whole pregnancy and nursing period. I couldn’t get enough sugar. I still lost weight, but I also realized I had lost control. I couldn’t WAIT to get back on the program.
• I would just go by the way I feel and look in my clothes. I hate the scale. And measuring is a good tool, but in this case you likely have some water bloat, so not a true picture either.
• I wouldn’t go back to induction at all. I’d pick up where I left off. Now, if I don’t notice a change in my clothes, I’d rethink in a couple weeks. Esp since your comment about never having fruit again, I’d suggest re-reading the OWL chapter of DANDR and figuring out how you can have fruit and still lose weight. I eat fruit every day.
• Miserable? Left out? Believe me, I was MUCH more miserable when I couldn’t keep up with my kids, carry my kids with out hurting, or button my size 16 jeans. Left-out? I couldn’t play volleyball because I just couldn’t, couldn’t splash in the water because I was too self conscious, and couldn’t get my picture taken with my kids because “I’m not REALLY that fat.”

Now, your highest weight is just in to overweight category, and your start weight is well within normal range…so maybe you’ve never felt those things? Maybe you’re shooting for an unrealistic goal? 126 for 5’8” if I read correctly, and maybe that is just not reasonable to maintain in the real world. You can go on holiday and have some treats and not “eat until you feel physically sick”…if YOU can. A carboholic maybe can’t. If you can stop at a large ice cream cone and not feel sick the next day and not have to have MORE every time, more power too you. ''


Susan - what you've said is very helpful, and I think you're right in that I have been fortunate enough that my weight, though I am unhappy with it, has never affected my health or my lifestyle particularly, and perhaps I am shooting for an unrealistic goal.

I think my worst self-image habit is to torture myself by reading all of the celebrity gossip magazines where I am constantly bombarded by images of these gorgeous gene-blessed singers and actresses. As my boyfriend says to me: ''no-one is ever going to line you up next to Nicole Richie, Mischa Barton and Jessica Alba, compare you all and then laugh and point at you'' so I guess I should stop trying to compare myself (lets face it it's always going to be unfavorably) with these people who are famous partly because of their great looks. Plus they have personal trainers and stylists...

And I do realise that a lot of the problem I had when I went on hols was that for some reason, in the beautiful 90plus degree heat, I decided that I would drink pepsi and coffee ended up drinking hardly any water at all!! What an idiot! So a lot of the bloating I felt was to do with drinking lots of caffeine and carbonated drinks, and I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of the foods we had were high in salt.

Plus, it didn't help my self-esteem that my boyfriend's sister is naturally gorgeous - a US size 2-4 (even after giving birth 4mths ago) and we were in bikini's most days (I am probably a US 6-8, which I know is not bad, but there I go again, constantly comparing myself to every other woman around).
And also, when I was shopping for bikini's, 'Express' had in their sale bins, an XL bikini top that was, at best a A-B-cup - now, in my book, that does not an XL make. I decided I was not going to try and shop in a place where something so small was considered an XL - I mean what must the XS look like? How do people who are not pre-pubescent teenage girls buy bikinis???

Honestly, it seems to me the clothes sizes in the US at the small end of the spectrum are TINY, they look like they would MAYBE fit a nine-year old - is this about average?? Or was I just torturing myself in particularly horrendous shops?
I must speak up for Banana republic here, however, as their clothes were a great fit (plus, I was a 6 in there, so I am bound to like it!)

Sorry, bit of a rant there, but there seem to be so many hurdles to knock you down if you are prone to a bit of low self esteem like me - it's so much easier to believe the bad stuff (like, if you try on a pair of pants in your normal size and they go nowhere near to doing up, but in every other shop the same size fits - I would inevitably believe in the small pants every time - anyone else like this?)

Right, rant over - thanks again for all the great advice and support.