How Do You Approach...

[gazaleh]

Someone who is overweight and wants to change. I know Atkins is the way and I hate to see her struggling through 1200 calories and not getting anywhere. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all and I personally don't like discussing people's weights with them. I still want to help. Also, I have never been really overweight, and she sees me constantly eating like pig (Atkins friendly food) so she always makes comments about how naturally thin I am, etc. Mind you, even with nonATkins foods , it's hard for me to put on weight (unless I'm on meds!), but I know what she is going through... How would you approach this?

Btw, we all went clubbing last night as a group, including this person. I cannot believe how cruel society can be when one is heavier. What a shame. There were people actually laughing at her! And when all of us were on the dance floor, guys would come up to talk to me and dance with me and then LOUDLY ask me "what is a hot girl like you doing with that?". I am appalled. I'm sorry, bu tI don't pick friends after I weigh them on a scale! SICK.

[julirama723]

Guys can be frigging a$$holes. UGH. I know how your friend feels. I'm usually the "fat" friend...I don't know what I'd do if I heard someone say that about me--your friend must be a strong woman!

It's a touchy situation. I know you want to help, but I think the best thing to do is wait until she comes to you asking specifically about Atkins--people don't change unless they want to, and are ready to. She's probably a little nervous, but it's definitely she who has to breach the subject. Just keep doing what you've been doing, and if she wants advice, she will definitely ask! Obviously, she can see how well the plan works! The proof is in the (low-carb, splenda flavored) pudding.

[gazaleh]

She's prettier than most girls I saw at the club, myself included. A 10 for sure....Those bastards were shocked when I would go crazy on them after their comments, esp. because they thought they were complimenting me. hehe . I can get psycho on people's a$$es if they are ignorant. I don't care if it involves rudeness towards someone else...

[julirama723]

Atta girl!

[Kent]

As for how I would approach, I don't. I make them come and ask me how I lost my weight or why I look so good or why I have so much energy. If I bring it to them, immediately they are defensively. That is why I wear the Atkins and the exercise on my sleeve. The best example will draw more people than the loudest clanging [crock] pot.

[ttdriver]

Originally Posted by Kent

As for how I would approach, I don't. I make them come and ask me how I lost my weight or why I look so good or why I have so much energy. If I bring it to them, immediately they are defensively. That is why I wear the Atkins and the exercise on my sleeve. The best example will draw more people than the loudest clanging [crock] pot.

KENT, YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OFF MY FINGERTIPS! I never discuss other people's weight issues either. I let my success speak for itself. They'll ask when they truly want to know. Until then, I just live it.

Betty

[Desertthorn]

I'd tell her I was on Atkins because I want to get healthy and lose weight and maybe she will ask you about it.

[Lady_Hawke]

Originally Posted by gazaleh

she always makes comments about how naturally thin I am, etc. .

The next time she comments - tell her flat out you are eating the Atkins way - tell her about our website and the book.

[abstractillusions]

It could be her comments to you about you being "naturally" thin and a inquiry as to what do you do to stay so thin. I would go a step further than telling, she may not be accepting becuase you ARE thin, instead, buy an extra copy of DANDR and write a little note for her on the inside something along the lines of:

You have commented about how "naturally" thin i am and how i eat, this wasn't always the case, this book is my saving grace - Atkins based on this book which outlines everything. Also, this is a support group i continuously go to for help in staying on my way of eating is this free Atkins support website: www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com. If you want to, we could have a chitchat over coffee, just let me know.

And give it to her in a casural way, and tell her when you hand it to her, that this is why you "appear" naturally thin. This way she will realize a couple things, the fact that 1) you DO something to look as you do, 2) you are willing to share "your secret" with her, 3) you are giving her tools to check it out and not forcing it on her so to speak by "telling" her some "unbelievable" story (to her) where you once were a fat girl having to diet, and 4) you are willing to talk more to her about it and allowing her the option of approaching you without making her uncomfortable bringing up her own struggles. You are not approaching her about HER weight, you are approaching her with the secret of YOUR thinness. There is a subtle and significant difference in this approach. You are making yourself the focus, and allowing her to believe she is being let in on your secret. Usually when i comment on someone being so thin, in my mind i am dying to know her secret. You are being unobtrusive, nonthreatening, noninsulting, and nonglaring towards her. She has commented to you before, i see no reason why you cannot share your secret thin tool with her, not so much the story (until she asks for it).

[gazaleh]

UPDATE- after visitng me and having a little crying session about the situation last night, I tried to calm her down and say that it must be hard and I can understand. She then got mad and defensive and says I don't understand. I then got defensive and hit her. jk. But I did get somewhat mad that she assumes I have things easy based on things she observes. ANyway, I have referred her to this site and have given her all my Atkins stuff. She's thankful and wants me to be her personal trainer and supporter. CANT WAIT to see the changes. hehe.