No to Atkins for fear of missing bread and pasta?

[aelt]

This is my second time on the Atkins diet and I am looking to lose 30 lbs from where I am now. I originally lost 32 in three months and held it there for 2.5 years, but over the last 18 months I have regained 20. Sigh. I see the "second time" forum and look forward to contributing there. I started to reduce my carbs a week ago and so far have lost 1 lb. I also began to re-read the book and started induction in ernest yesterday. This time I am going to achieve my goal and hold it indefinitely instead of just a couple of years!

After browsing this site, I see a lot of successful people's bios and photos and have noticed that many of them are women. I was wondering if I could open the discussion to the following about my wife. Gently, of course! We have been married 20+ years and are in our 40s. To be within the weight range for her height she probably needs to lose 50+ lbs.

I love and am supportive of my wife and have tried to bring up her increasing weight occasionally (1x/yr at most) through the years and each time I am met with her being angry at me. I do not make demands and I try to handle the issue with tenderness. But her being overweight does concern me for health reasons and I want her to do something, anything, anything that is her choice, to slender down and become healthier. I have told her that I would support any diet/lifestyle change she wants to undertake, including modifying my food intake to match hers. So far she hasn't modified her food intake nor started any diet.

I realize of course that deciding to do something about her body weight is completely in her control. She has to make the decision to do something about it and stick with it. Trying to pressure her into doing so is fruitless and would make her hostile toward me and I certainly don't want that.

My questions for the ladies is this: Were you initially against Atkins? Did you find after a short time that it was easy to follow? Did (do) you miss eating bread and pasta?

Each time I try to discuss my success with Atkins with her, the immediate response is "I can't live without bread and pasta" and therefore she won't even consider following that diet.

What advice would you offer her? How should I approach the subject so she doesn't respond with hostility?

I appreciate any suggestions you can offer.
Mark

[*Emma*]

I missed eating bread and pasta at first, but i dont miss the way it made me feel when i cheated once and thought i wanted it, never again! Atkins all the way!

[lisadallasr]

HI Mark, I just want to say you are a great hubby!!! The advice i could give you is just let her see how your coming along, maybe you cook dinner every now and then and make it atkins friendly, and she will see how yummy it is. Ask her to go on evening walks with you. I would stay away from telling her she needs to lose weight as that might make her defensive, even in the most kinder way of saying it. I would just go about eating the atkins way and make her a meal every now and then, and she will see your success and maybe want to jump on the bandwagon with you!!!

[*Emma*]

Each time I try to discuss my success with Atkins with her, the immediate response is "I can't live without bread and pasta" and therefore she won't even consider following that diet.

Thats my best friends answer too, and she's jealous of my success but says she just cant do it, its her choice and she chooses to follow a low fat/high sugar(literally!) lifestyle.

[Sera]

since you don't HAVE to live without bread and pasta FOREVER, I did not think much about it in the beginning.
I will at one point have my whole wheat pasta again which I already ate before doing Atkins and I am already eating bread made from almond flour instead of normal flour and whole wheat bread is also possible one day if one really wants to go there.

You are right, you can't force her and I'm glad you aren't trying to.
Maybe it would be an idea though to give her the book so she can actually find out what Atkins is really about.
It might also be an idea for your wife to eat whole wheat pasta and bread and cut out the sugar and white flour...that would already make a lot of difference, I think but she could still have her pasta and bread
Add loads of veggies(not so much potatoes and starchy stuff) and she might already see the effect even without really doing Atkins.

I personally didn't waste much time worrying about all this when my parents told me they had lost quite some weight on another low carb diet.
I did that first and when I kinda stalled, I found out about Atkins and jumped right into it.

GL to you with your own weightloss and I hope your wife gives this WOL a chance on day.

[deek deek]

Hi Mark, I was def. a starchy carb eater! My friend and I started this WOE almost 7 months ago and before that I thought I couldnt go without bread and pastas also. It was such a main staple in my household...and lots of sandwiches too!! But I relized that I cant keep eating that way and look and feel the way I want too!! Now I've always been the big girl and now I'm the smallest Ive been in my life and I cant imagaine going back to what I was....atkins for life!! btw I do miss it..still love the smell but its the devil!!

[not2late]

The first time you were on Atkins, did you go through the phases of Atkins, as Dr. Atkins wrote in the book or did you stay on Induction phase the entire time? If you went through the phases, then I can't see why your wife would think why she will "never eat" bread or pasta again because she would have seen you increase your diet to include nuts, fruits, starchy veggies, legumes and grains.

[aelt]

Originally Posted by lisadallasr

The advice i could give you is just let her see how your coming along, maybe you cook dinner every now and then and make it atkins friendly, and she will see how yummy it is. Ask her to go on evening walks with you. I would stay away from telling her she needs to lose weight as that might make her defensive, even in the most kinder way of saying it. I would just go about eating the atkins way and make her a meal every now and then, and she will see your success and maybe want to jump on the bandwagon with you!!!

She saw how successful I was in a very short period of time when I first went on low carb and she still made comments that she couldn't go on it. I cook at least half the meals (maybe more) and I do tend to make the meals lower carb and my wife and kids don't complain (usually ) I lost 32 lbs in 3 months and I cheated/reset every two weeks as I allowed myself to have pizza and a beer, so she knows she doesn't have to totally give up bread to be successful. We took more walks during the summer, but you are right... we should do more walking together even during the winter.

Thats my best friends answer too, and she's jealous of my success but says she just cant do it, its her choice and she chooses to follow a low fat/high sugar(literally!) lifestyle.

Yes... she was probably jealous of my weightloss the first time around (a little anyway), but it did not inspire her to try. I believe all she has to do is try Atkins and she might find it is easier than she thinks. But if I bring it up, I know I will be in for a nasty response.

Maybe it would be an idea though to give her the book so she can actually find out what Atkins is really about.
It might also be an idea for your wife to eat whole wheat pasta and bread and cut out the sugar and white flour...that would already make a lot of difference, I think but she could still have her pasta and bread
Add loads of veggies(not so much potatoes and starchy stuff) and she might already see the effect even without really doing Atkins.

I'd love for her to read about it, but leaving it on the table did not tempt her to open it. She has eaten whole wheat and high protein pasta and bread but the problem is going back for seconds. And she's always enjoyed lots of veggies.

Keep the feedback and ideas coming! I greatly appreciate it!
Mark

[Elizellen]

Originally Posted by Sera

Maybe it would be an idea though to give her the book so she can actually find out what Atkins is really about.

You might also ask her to be part of your support team to help you lose weight the Atkins way even though she is not following it herself.

[Gunnadoit]

I agree Sera that saying things to her about her weight probably is not a good thing. I am very defensive about my weight. I love to talk about it when I am being active about losing, but it is a sore and sensitive subject otherwise. Like the others said, I think if she sees how well you are doing, she might take more interest. I would think if someone saw you eating a big delicious hamburger with cheese melted on it or a steak and salad with regular dressing and still losing weight, they would think "hmm, maybe I should try it". I think you should just try to be a good example for her. I don't think anything is wrong with asking her to support you. Hang in there and good luck with your weight loss!!