Doing Atkins when living with family *screams*

[stephbob]

I'm pretty sure I brought this up years ago, but here we go...

6 months ago, my other half and I moved in with his parents because of problems we were having with our landlord and apartment, and to save a bit of money. When his parents asked us to move in, they knew about how I ate, I've done it for years and I even got his mother into the WOL a year or two ago. It's no secret, they know and I expected them to understand. They're South American, very Spanish, very family orientated, and I thought we had tackled this meal-problem years ago...

But over the last 6 months, things have gone from bad to worse. We all eat meals together as a family whenever possible, and I'm happy enough to service my own meal so whoever's cooking doesn't have to make a seperate meal for me. Being considerate, right? Or if they're cooking something I can eat most of, like grilled chicken, vegetables and rice, I just ask them to leave the rice off the plate, and I throw some salad on instead. Again, not causing trouble, right?

I even BUY groceries each week, partly to pay my way, partly so they don't have to pay for me to eat differently. But I'm still getting the cold shoulder about it all - being told that I'm rude for turning down their food, and so forth. It's getting to me so much that I find myself eating whatever they put in front of me just to make them happy and stop the arguments. I just dont see why there needs to be so many arguments over me eating a different way.

I'm lactose intolerant, and even that isn't a good enough excuse apparently. I still get served food I CANT eat (without being extremely sick as a result) and told to eat it or I'm offending them.


If it was here I asked before, I had a lot of great suggestions of just talking to them, telling them I can't eat certain foods, and getting along that way, but I'm at my wits' end. I've resorted to eating when everyone's at work, or leaving the house to eat and it's getting me so miserable.

What makes me sad is that my other half has medical problems, and his doctor has told him many times that he needs to lose weight or he's going to get even worse problems. His doctor has told him, told both of us that he needs to be eating as I do. But even a doctors word is good enough, and he's weak enough to listen to his parents over a medical professional.

I know most of this is probably just a rant to you, but I need some more advice if anyone has some, or has anyone been through anything similar? It's getting to the point where I'm yearning to go back to the UK more often (I'm actually going back next week for a bit) just to escape.

I've lost my job, so moving out isn't an option right now, as much as I wish it were.

[Zarabelle]

I really do feel for you hun. I have the same problem when I go to my PIL house and feel rude etc for taking my own food and refusing their low carb (in their opinion) food. The difference is that I only go there for dinner about once a month and so I can't imagine what it's like to go through that every day. The only thing I can suggest is that you stick to your guns... explain that you are not trying to be rude or awkward and that you just want to lose weight. I had to do that after some very awkward (and rude towards me IMO) e-mails/phone calls. Now they have their meal and I have mine. I have just been invited to go there for my birthday and I'm thinking... great..... it's a shame but you have to stick to what is right for you. Ask your partner to speak to his parents too. x

[Chicklady]

This is gonna seem really slimy....but one guilt trip deserves another ...I know guilt Got those before and after pictures handy (real nice by the way ) Next time you get the "you're offending us speech, start in on why are they trying to make you fat again? If you can put on some tears, all the better. Why is it that you eating their food is more important than your health? Don't they want their son to have a long life partner??

Well, you get the idea. it doesn't sound like sensible conversation works, so........use emotion!!!!

Ok, You all think I'm pretty low right now don't ya>?

[stephbob]

haha, well low may work! The being nice thing ain't!

[Parouz]

Chicklady has given great advice.Honestly sounds like they are using emotion on you.
.
I know the Latin familes love imposing their food on you I've had it from Italian BF family it's horrendous,but stick to you health!!!You don't want to loose that and your BF has to find his voice for both of you.Since they are not hearing your voice.
Your success is fantastic!Look at you ,you keep that no matter what!
Good luck.

[EverLosing]

Originally Posted by Chicklady

This is gonna seem really slimy....but one guilt trip deserves another ...I know guilt Got those before and after pictures handy (real nice by the way ) Next time you get the "you're offending us speech, start in on why are they trying to make you fat again? If you can put on some tears, all the better. Why is it that you eating their food is more important than your health? Don't they want their son to have a long life partner??

Well, you get the idea. it doesn't sound like sensible conversation works, so........use emotion!!!!

Ok, You all think I'm pretty low right now don't ya>?

Chicklady....absolutely hilarious and soooooo on the mark!! I suspect there's a culture barrier here and emotion may be the only way to go!!! Just use it as a motivator to get the heck out of there. I know you're in a tight spot right now and I feel for you, girl. The struggle is a message. No one is going to take care of you, except you. It's all in your hands. Now, go cut up an onion and show them some tears. Better yet, rub your cheeks with onion hands. Get your makeup to run! You can conquer this!

[SunnySmile501]

You would think that family would want you to be healthy and happy, wouldn't you? I know other cultures have ingrained into them that to refuse food is an insult. We had that problem when my brother brought his new bride home from Germany. I had a business partner who was from Iran. I hate rice. I ate rice at her house because she literally didn't give me a choice. I even managed not to gag! LOL She went from angel to witch in 3.5 seconds!

I don't really have any advice, just a hug and support. You look awesome!

Sunny!

[stephbob]

Ok, small update - I sat down with my in-laws to talk after the family meal today - FIL asked me how I managed to lose 50 lbs last time if I don't eat vegetables, and I said that I did - gave a(nother) brief speech about Atkins, and I think I managed to convince the whole family to try it again, with me.

FYI, the reason they dont think I eat veggies is because they love to cover their salads and veggies in lemon juice, and I'm allergic to citric acid, therefore I have to avoid it here unless I'm home alone lol.

So maybe this is going to work after all - they all want to lose weight, so it'll be interesting to see how this pans out!

[Chicklady]

Awesome Steph! Good luck to the whole clan!!

[stephbob]

Thank you! I'm just so miserable right now, with the whole situation in general. I want to get back to that skinny picture of me I know I can do it, I did it in 3 months last time, without putting in full Atkins-style effort, so if I give it 110% this time, I can do it for sure.

It's just a lot easier without an uphill battle!