What motivates you?

[kibskix]

Is what motivates you negative or positive? I think we should all pay more attention to that. Any time in the past when i've been motivated by negativity, it has never panned out in the long run. Why is that?

Have you ever noticed people get motivated by anger? Well, more like hurt disguised as anger. The "Well i'll show you!" mind set. I remember once I had just sat down to eat at IHOP with an ex boyfriend, and he was looking at me weird, and said "You know, if you lost weight, you'd look like a supermodel" That was probably 3 years ago, and I still remember it and how mortified I was that that jerk said that to me. My initial reaction was "well I'll show you", and proceeded to lose and gain and lose and gain. It didn't stick, because you fall back into that self pity mode, and felt sorry for myself and said "hey SCREW this" and ate chocolate all night. Hated myself for it, vowed to stop, the repeat. repeat. repeat.

When your motivation is vengence on some brat saying some bratty things, or a reaction to having your feelings hurt, it will probably burn out and fail. Not to mention just mess with your self esteem even more because it feels like you don't have any willpower.

I cannot tell y'all what the benefit of being in a healthy positive mindset can do! The first time I did atkins, it was out of self hate. I hated my body (even though that first time I started almost 20lbs lighter than where I've started this time) and was super self conscious and always mind-read and assumed what everyone else thought of me. My willpower would flare for about 3 days, then i'd cave, and cave hard. Like an entire bag of nestles treasures hard. A BIG part of that was because if I was out in public, I didn't want to have to explain why I wasn't eating all the crap everyone else was eating. I felt like if you didn't talk about weight loss, no one would notice you needed to lose weight. So I began canceling outings then binging anyway because I felt guilty about bailing on my friends. It was seriously a vicious cycle and my attempts at being healthier, good intentioned or not, never had a chance.

THIS TIME, I feel like I can -breathe- because i'm not doing it out of hate for myself, i'm doing it out of love for myself. I have a fabulous support system in my family and friends and boyfriend. I have willpower I never thought I had when it came to no sugar. In a few days, I'll have gone a full two weeks without sugar of any kind. Before, I'd have cheated at least 3-4 times, then sulked over it, felt bad for myself, and set myself up to do it all again. Now when someone tries to sabotage me, or i'm surrounded by sugar and food I can't eat, I'm not embarrassed to NOT eat it in fear that someone might notice the fat girl trying to diet. I just..... don't do it. I don't know how else to explain it. It isn't being deprived. Its almost a challenge. like "yeah ok giant chocolate reeses cup, we'll see who comes out on top here!!"

If we all can just stay above that little self-loathing pit and realize how much you deserve success, it will just happen naturally.

[emmie30]

You are so right kibstix. I have used all those reasons in the past and am all to familiar with the "Ill show you" mentality and it is hurt disguised as anger. My willpower now comes from wanting to be the best that I can be and not what i want others to see. Me being slim wont make them less bitter or hurtfull people!

[chinadoll]

You are so right. The anger/hurt mechanism can sometimes spur me to action but it is usually short lived. A longterm want is more likely to keep me focused. Last year I was going on a cruise in August and to Italy in October. I stayed on track all summer and into the fall. I even did pretty well on the cruise. But after we returned from Italy my drive fizzled. This spring I have no motivation other than I wanted to really get it together. I have not been this focused since the first time I started Atkins (it also resulted in my biggest loss that time).

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

I absolutely agree that using negativity to motivate oneself is not healthy (although I think we've all done it before)...I know when i lost 60 pounds before it was MAINLY due to ex-friends and mean comments and whatnot - i said "i'll show you who's fat!"...

and yes - I obviously lost the weight - but once I lost the weight and actually HAD new friends/better support - it seemed to creep back because I had people who DID want to be around me and be my friend and NO mean comments - and so I think (for me) I started to think, "well - no one thinks I'm fat - so I don't have to try so hard..." and it was a cycle I'd get into...i'd be in a healthy relationship and I'd gain a few pounds because it didn't matter how "thin" i was - yet as soon as that relationship was over, the "I'll show you" mentality came back and I'd "diet" - not really get anywhere and it'd be a roller coaster.

yes - I know - very unhealthy mentality.

For me it was ALWAYS about looks. I'd always say it was about health - but that was a lie.

But now - finally - I'm in a FABULOUS relationship - and it truly IS about health (after finding out about my insulin resistance)...and yes - my wedding is DEF a huge motivating factor - but at the same time...my fiance absolutely loves me for me and doesn't care fat or thin - but now i'm motivated to get back down to where I was so that I can show myself that I can do it, because I know I DON'T have to be at this weight. Plus - I'm NOT happy at higher weights and I KNOW I can do it and there's NO one in my life telling me i'm fat or ugly or anything like that - I just want to do this for ME (for once in my life! lol).

[momonmission99*]

It depends.

I had something "Bad" happen in my business 18 months or so ago. One of my closest friends had said "They did the wrong thing because you don't break easily and you're going to move onto bigger and better things. Just watch, this will end up being a blessing for you". Boy was she right! Much bigger and better things came to me after that.

I would say that mostly negative things motivate me. Looking in the mirror and really thinking about what I want to change, stepping on the scale and seeing how much I still weigh. I also have 2 pictures on my fridge from 5-6 years ago when I Was at my skinniest.

Music also motivates me.

[SunnySmile501]

I find negative anything unmotivating. I went into this project almost four years ago focused entirely on a positive attitude and mind-set. How could you possibly combine a bunch of negatives and expect a positive outcome? The Bible is right when it says you reap what you sow. Your mind tries its best to produce the image you carry in your mind, so if all you look at are ugly pictures of your fat, you will stay that way. If you put pictures around the house when you were slim and healthy, your mind will try its best to give you that outcome.

[EverLosing]

My most recent motivating factor is seeing my reflection and really beginning to love it. I just got home from the grocery store and there were these mirrors placed around the produce. I looked "normal" again!!! I loved that reflection!! I did stop for a moment and wonder if it could be one of those "skinny mirrors"!!!!! Could be, everything in the grocery store is designed to make you buy more!! But it doesn't matter...I'm not at goal yet and even better is still on the way! I haven't been at this weight since 2002ish so it's nice to see. My size 14 jeans aren't going to fit much longer and that's scary to me. I don't even own size 12's. Don't remember the last time I wore 12's. I've always purchased my jeans from Lane Bryant. Love their jeans and I'm about to graduate from their sizes. I am lost about where to get size 12's I love. I think I'm going to just buy 3 or 4 pair of 12's from thrift stores and consignment shops. Hopefully, they won't be around long either! No need to invest. Oh, yeah...the other day I think I said something negative about myself (bad, I know) and my son turned around and said, "It's ok Mama. At least you're not fat anymore." Sheesh, thanks son.....

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Originally Posted by EverLosing

My most recent motivating factor is seeing my reflection and really beginning to love it. I just got home from the grocery store and there were these mirrors placed around the produce. I looked "normal" again!!! I loved that reflection!! I did stop for a moment and wonder if it could be one of those "skinny mirrors"!!!!! Could be, everything in the grocery store is designed to make you buy more!! But it doesn't matter...I'm not at goal yet and even better is still on the way! I haven't been at this weight since 2002ish so it's nice to see. My size 14 jeans aren't going to fit much longer and that's scary to me. I don't even own size 12's. Don't remember the last time I wore 12's. I've always purchased my jeans from Lane Bryant. Love their jeans and I'm about to graduate from their sizes. I am lost about where to get size 12's I love. I think I'm going to just buy 3 or 4 pair of 12's from thrift stores and consignment shops. Hopefully, they won't be around long either! No need to invest. Oh, yeah...the other day I think I said something negative about myself (bad, I know) and my son turned around and said, "It's ok Mama. At least you're not fat anymore." Sheesh, thanks son.....

haha! that is funny...course - at least you know he's telling the truth - cuz you gotta realize that if there's one thing kids don't do - it's lie! so take it and RUN!!!!

[muzza]

my main motivation is that when i was 17 i joined the australian regular army. we trained so incredibaly hard 'i was so fit and strong back then i would do 8km runs with 50 pounds on my back and feel energized. i could do 25 km endurance assault courses that included bayonet assault courses , rope climbs'obstacle courses' swimming across dams stretcher carrys etc and finish the whole run in a little over 2 hours.now at 35 im flat out walking round the block .it angers me when i relise i was at such a high level of fitness for all those years now im not.also my fiance and me would like to have a child and that idea motivates me because i would like to be around to raise my child[ if and when we can have one my fiance has polysistic ovaries].so all in all im not getting any younger and i no that i can accomplish great things because of all that i have achieved in my earlier years .but above all im not happy with how ive let myself go 'but in saying that this last month i have been feeling great about this wol , and i am very glad dr atkins created this whole concept of the atkins new diet revoulution. muzza

[Rhondascissorhands]

Watching the biggest loser motivates me! All that hard work, and motivational stories! keeps you honest. Plus, working out, helps with those endorphins.