The Sad, Sad Story of a Self Saboteur

[MsManners]

Back in September, at 265lbs. I started on my adventure with Adkins. Being a “hefty honey” working in entertainment (an industry of stick insect women), I was aware that my size was a hindrance to my career. And so…I embarked happily on my diet, dropping 27lbs in the first month and making my “when I am thin” Neiman Marcus clothing wish lists.

High on my own power of reduction, I laughed in the face of temptation. I KNEW that I could eat a little piece of chocolate cake and get right back on my diet the next day. Why?? Because I had willed 27lbs of fat to flee my body!!!

Of course, that little cheat of cake didn’t hurt too much…so I knew that I could eat a little pizza at an industry party. And cocktails? Well what are a few cocktails among friends? And so I stalled…not gaining, but not losing either. Of course I knew that I could get right back on the diet at any moment, and I probably would start….tomorrow or Monday at the latest.

Then the bottom dropped (and not just mine) and thousands got laid off. No one was hiring in entertainment, and a masters degree in television and film production was about as advantageous as a degree in underwater basket weaving. So what was a girl to do?

I looked around and thought….”what does the world need more of? I know….lawyers!” So off to law school I went. Now you might think…..law school…three kids…..a problem with “just saying no to comfort food,” perhaps the late nights and long hours of law school may not be the best thing for a girl of my girth. And you would be correct. Being a generous sort of a girl, I welcomed those 27 lbs back with open arms (and mouth) and encouraged them to bring friends.

But that is not the end of my sad little tale. A story for pride before the fall or in my case, pride before the rise. No, I was not content to simply gain the “freshman forty” even though I am now actually forty one. No not a simple ending for me. With royalties drying up and hungry mouths to feed, I looked around for some income source that would allow me to go to school and still make a living. And it is here dear friends that the tale turns quite tragic.

It seemed like such a great idea at the time. The little shop called out to me…. “lease me lease me.” And so I inquired. “Yes it comes fully equipped,” the owner said, “Yes there is quite a brisk turn over.” And so seduced by the sunny, corner location and old general store feel. I opened <dramatic pause>……an American deli in Edinburgh!

I know my brothers and sisters. The sheer horror of it all. A New York woman in entertainment, living in the UK and trying to lose oh a bazillion pounds of flab and what do I do? I spend my free time making cakes and cookies and importing Twinkies and Mountain Dew, and……mallow mars.

So here I am, surrounded by the best of the worst foods. Stuck between legal journals and peanut butter cheese cakes…..but I have returned to you, deviled egg in one hand and a ketone stick in the other, to once again start on the Adkins journey with you.

Ms Manners

[thefemalegreenday]

Wow, that sucks =/
Sorry.

But in the end, it'll make you stronger with the temptation when you think about it.
Handling that food will just become the norm and whenever your offered junk it'll just lose its taste in your mind.
Stick in there =] you'll lose it again, just stay strong.

[chinadoll]

Dear Miss Manners,

I truly believe you have missed your true calling - as a writer. Perhaps you should take a journal with you to the deli and in between stocking the shelves with (shudder) Mallomars and feebly attempting not to lick the cookie batter from your fingers, you should embark on a career in writing. You have a flair for embellishment and a wonderful sense of humor. I thoroughly enjoyed your post.

As for Dr A and your new Way of Eating, welcome to the fold. I am hoping you find it as rewarding as I have done.

[msanjelpie]

But what happened to law school? I'm waiting for the next chapter...

[Whatsername]

Jill said exactly what I was thinking. I was completely taken in with your writing.

Glad to have you here and support is here for you anytime. And friendship too.

Thank you for sharing with us. Good luck to you.

[ldyj]

What an interesting life you have had! And, like the others wrote,you have a true flair for writing, I, too, await the next chapter, one filled with stories of success, because that's what you will be, successful! Oh, and in doing Atkins, too!!

[thefemalegreenday]

Haha just reading over this..You can tell I'm the teenager XD
But yeah, your writing is fantastic, it makes me want more.

[MsManners]

LOL I am/was a television writer...then the economy took a header and I figured.....phone sex operator or law school. Frankly, I already feel like everyone else is getting action but me, so the idea of having to actually LISTEN to it all didn't appeal.

Plus, I now that I would get tired of pretending to be a 104 lb, 22 year old ex-cheerleader, who just happened to pick up the phone on my way to a sleep over/pillow fight with my flight attendant and lingerie model friends. When asked what I was wearing/doing etc...I know me well enough to know that I would be honest...."well I'm and almost 300lb, 40 something, with three kids, and a dog with incontinence problems. Right now I am wearing a maxi house dress (what we used to call a moomoo in the politically incorrect days) and applying "spray and wash" stain remover to the "racing stripes" in my kid's underwear before I toss them into the wash." I am guessing that I wouldn't have much repeat business as a phone sex operator.......

Anyway to answer the question, I am in law school in Edinburgh. Because I already have a masters degree, I have two years of accelerated classes (1 year to go) and then will take the bar in NYC. If the economy is better, I will go back to writing television. If not, I will probably practice entertainment law.

The American import shop came into being because I needed an income. As you can imagine, being a television writer doesn't really equate with jobs outside the industry. Essentially it prepares you for a career as a french fry maker at McDonalds or a car wash attendant. So, waiting for the worst economy in living memory and selecting an area that can best be described as "up and coming" I decided that setting up a specialty import shop was a great idea. I can only assume now that this was due to carb overload. But there are quite a few Americans in Edinburgh, so staffing isn't a problem.

Thanks for the ego pat, I am thinking about setting up a blog detailing my Adkins experience.

[pagliaccia]

You certainly love to throw curveballs at yourself, don't you? Fascinating read, and I wish you the best. Any time you need a proverbial kick in the butt, let me know and I'll get you back on track!

[not2late]

American deli in Edinburgh

It could work. But make it a REAL deli, like the Italian or Jewish deli's in NYC and the Burroughs---stocked with quality meats not 7-Eleven type junk.

Model it after Katz's or any of the Italian deli's in the Bronx's Arthur Avenue.

I'm sure if you had real pastrami, corned beef, and salami surrounding you, instead of Mallomars and Twinkies, you'd have no problem sticking to Atkins.