Funnies...

[neutronnorman]

• The lady next door was terribly excited over the success she was having with the AD diet. She optimistically projected several months into the future and annpunced to her husband that she was giving him a 110-pound wife for his birthday. "Oh, great," he answered, "Whose?"
• My doctor has the greatest diet of all: "Eat all you want, chew-but don't swallow."
• Norman's secret quick weight loss diet: Eat 8 oz. black coffee for breakfast, 8 oz. black coffee for lunch and have a sensible Marlboro for dinner.
• A diet is what you keep putting off while you keep putting on.
• Most people are terrible at counting calories and they have the figures to prove it.
• The second day of a diet is always easier than the first-by the second day you're off it.
• Does your end justify your jeans? If not, you better reach for Splenda.
• When a man looks a woman straight in the eye, she'd better do something about her figure.
• Dieting makes some people so cranky they behave like something's eating them.
• The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat-it's watching what your friends eat.
• It isn't the travel that broadens one-it's all the rich foreign food.
• I have a friend who doesn't diet and never gains an ounce. He eats six meals a day. An average meal consists of two steaks, four pounds of potatoes, three hamburgers, an apple pie, a malted, an ice cream soda, and a hot fudge sundae-and he still weighs the same, 475 pounds.
• Show me a gal with a model's figure, and I'll show you a very hungry gal.
• We have nothing to worry about if Splenda goes off the market. If it goes off the market, we can always get artificial sweetening by watching Marie Osmond.

[pagliaccia]

Very cute, Norman. Thanks for that!

[Ohbehave007]

• Show me a gal with a model's figure, and I'll show you a very hungry gal.

Haha, love it....

How about: "I am in shape! Round is a shape!" My moms favorite saying

[stacy3477]

Very cute! This one is too true...

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat-it's watching what your friends eat.