Lesson Learned. Why I can't cheat...

[Slapshot]

I posted this in another thread, but think it warrants its own thread so that others can learn from my terrible mistakes between June 16th and last week (when I finally got on track). I had incredible results from March 17th to Father's Day (June 16th), and lost about 50 lbs. I got confident/cocky on Father's Day and cheated through my own decision-making/fault. The day after, I weighed in at the same number, so I figured what the heck, one more day of cheating won't be bad if I didn't gain anything (i.e. water weight) from a day of cheating. Then I started the self-delusional thoughts of perhaps those people who believe in a weekly "carb-up" were onto something. To make matters worse, the veins in my biceps and forearms were bulging, which I knew was from the carb-up. I got a couple of compliments on my arms and I figured, hey, this isn't so bad.

I would be cheat-free through the day, and ravenous at night, and would eat peanut butter, crackers, ice cream and everything else I shouldn't have. My weight (thankfully) stayed the same, but I was feeling terrible. I wasn't sleeping, my hip started hurting again, and my face felt puffy. I felt like a smaller, doughy version of my old 240 pound self. I'm finally back in ketosis and feeling great (and down to 187). I don't want to (and will not) go through that ever again.

Yes, some of us can cheat and have the discipline/willpower/fortitude to get right back on the horse. Sadly, I am not one of them, and I think I'm in the majority.

Please learn from my lesson. I just wonder how much closer I'd be to my goal (if not already at it) if I didn't go through this 6 weeks of nonsense:

[stacy3477]

Thanks for posting slapshot. It's great perspective for all of us!

[pagliaccia]

Thank you for posting that, Slapshot. I know how it feels to eat crow, and it's very cool of you to show others a common downfall. I suspect the fact that you're holding yourself accountable is going to make you even stronger than before.

[neutronnorman]

"...those people who believe in a weekly "carb-up" were onto something...."

CKD are very difficult because of knowing when to break the carb up without laying fat. It takes great effort during a carb up to measure your self constantly with calipers and "feel" when your body has had enough.
Suffice to say: "the veins in my biceps and forearms were bulging, which I knew was from the carb-up. I got a couple of compliments on my arms and I figured, hey, this isn't so bad."

"...Yes, some of us can cheat and have the discipline/willpower/fortitude to get right back on the horse. Sadly, I am not one of them, and I think I'm in the majority...."

Maybe some of us can Cheat, but maybe some of us do not consider it cheating, but use a carb up as an alternative to the use of anabolic steroids, growth hormone and IGF-1 Insulin factors. Maybe some of us see a carb up as sort of a performance enhancing tool or medicine.

[Slapshot]

Norman - agreed. I understand that probably 1% of the people here know how to do a CKD cycle correctly, as you do. I also recognize that it's not "cheating" if done correctly, so I didn't mean to include proper CKD cycling in the bucket of cheat. Certainly what I did was cheating, and not anything like CKD.

Thank you for posting that, Slapshot. I know how it feels to eat crow, and it's very cool of you to show others a common downfall. I suspect the fact that you're holding yourself accountable is going to make you even stronger than before.

Thanks for posting slapshot. It's great perspective for all of us!

Thanks for the support. It's hard to look in the mirror at my failings, and it's even harder to be public about them. However, when I read posts about people struggling with the decision to knowingly cheat or go off plan for a while, or even to delay getting back on it, I think of the chart I posted above and want to scream to them that it was not worth it for me.

[mizski]

That graphic says it all...much better than words. Thanks for sharing.

[Slapshot]

Originally Posted by mizski

That graphic says it all...much better than words. Thanks for sharing.

Yes, the graphic does say it all, sadly...

The silver lining here is I wonder if my CCLM/ACE is high given that I was cheating virtually every night and didn't gain weight. We'll see what happens once I finish progressing through the rungs and enter into pre-maintenance and maintenance.

[neutronnorman]

On your graph, I noticed the flat line, the part almost devoid of concavity. It still had a slight negative slope to it, though.

I strongly advise, whom ever is reading this post, not to attempt a CKD.

[SunnySmile501]

Sometimes we just have to learn the hard lessons for ourselves. You did that and survived to tell the tale.

If you hadn't been hitting the exercise so hard since the very start and built a lot of muscle, you would have experienced weight gain.

Congratulations on getting back on track!

[Slapshot]

Originally Posted by SunnySmile501

Sometimes we just have to learn the hard lessons for ourselves. You did that and survived to tell the tale.

If you hadn't been hitting the exercise so hard since the very start and built a lot of muscle, you would have experienced weight gain.

Congratulations on getting back on track!

Survive is a good word to use. I can't believe it took me 6 weeks to get back on track. Believe it or not, restarting was harder than starting in the first place! If that doesn't scare me straight I don't know what will....!