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Warning: long ranting post about my lack of self control. If you're not into self-pitying diatribes - read no further.
Was doing so good. Today would have been my third week on Induction (my second week with no cheats) but I messed up. BUT I have learned several things from it. I suppose if I was looking for something positive about the whole experience that fact SHOULD cheer me up. Sadly it doesn't - not even close. I want to go back to the time before my screw up when I had lost 12 pounds so I could thoroughly kick my butt and therefore be in too much pain to go on an eating binge. The sad, sad things I've discovered are as follows:
1) Weekends are the bane of my existence. I have little to no control when I have a lot of free-time and the possibility of boredom. My first cheat ever happened on the weekend. Need to plan them out more exactly to eliminate those times when I could obsess about food or become bored.
2) Eating out is no longer a treat. I have this feeling that if I'm going to go to a restaurant and pay for someone else to fix my food then I should be able to order whatever I want. I get there, sit down, pick up the menu and (to give myself credit) I do search for low-carb options but they never seem as 'special' as those other tempting options. To be even more confusing I don't even know what my idea of 'special' is. I think that it's just that I want to order what I want to order and forget about my new WOL.
3) If I take myself out of my safe/comfortable little world of home and work I have no control. (This ties in with the above.) I spent this weekend out of town and I ate whatever I could put in my mouth. I was digusting. I'm not quite sure if it was insecurity or that I thought I was on vacation.
4) When I fall off the Atkins wagon I have a tendency to say'Oh well the day is shot I might as well eat whatever I want and start back up tomorrow.' But then tomorrow comes and the day after and I don't want to go back to restraining myself again no matter how awful I feel now and how good I felt then. Like this morning, when I said that I was going to start back on, my excuse was that I was running late and, since I was out of town and had missed my weekend grocery trip, there was nothing Atkins-friendly in the house. I drove through a fast food restaurant on my way to work with the idea that I was also going to have to eat fast food for lunch anyway because I had had no time to prepare anything like I normally do.
It stops NOW!! I might have fast food for lunch but it will be Atkins-friendly, I don't care how tempted I am. I need to start looking at my screw-ups as not messing up the whole day and giving me license to eat whatever I want the rest of the day but as screwing up that one meal. Instead of as a whole day wasted because of one mistake, as having the rest of the day to correct my one mistake. I will not go out of town on mini-breaks and I will not eat out at restaurants that are expensive enough to make me feel cheated if I order low carb options. I can already see that my self-control will be tested this weekend. My mother and I will be giving a bridal shower and almost none of the food that we will be serving will be Induction friendly. I most definitely need to re-vamp the menu and fix my own separate meal. It's sad but necessary. Part of the reason that I want to lose this weight is for my friend's wedding in June. It would be a little too ironic that in celebrating her wedding I would sabotage my plan and be disappointed at her wedding.
Sorry about the long post and I appreciate all you who have perservered and reached the end of my self-pitying rant. I just needed to get my mad out of my system so that I could think more positively about myself and the rest of my day.
Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I wouldn't have made it this far even with my screw-ups without everyone's support of every other person that comes to this board.
Was doing so good. Today would have been my third week on Induction (my second week with no cheats) but I messed up. BUT I have learned several things from it. I suppose if I was looking for something positive about the whole experience that fact SHOULD cheer me up. Sadly it doesn't - not even close. I want to go back to the time before my screw up when I had lost 12 pounds so I could thoroughly kick my butt and therefore be in too much pain to go on an eating binge. The sad, sad things I've discovered are as follows:
1) Weekends are the bane of my existence. I have little to no control when I have a lot of free-time and the possibility of boredom. My first cheat ever happened on the weekend. Need to plan them out more exactly to eliminate those times when I could obsess about food or become bored.
2) Eating out is no longer a treat. I have this feeling that if I'm going to go to a restaurant and pay for someone else to fix my food then I should be able to order whatever I want. I get there, sit down, pick up the menu and (to give myself credit) I do search for low-carb options but they never seem as 'special' as those other tempting options. To be even more confusing I don't even know what my idea of 'special' is. I think that it's just that I want to order what I want to order and forget about my new WOL.
3) If I take myself out of my safe/comfortable little world of home and work I have no control. (This ties in with the above.) I spent this weekend out of town and I ate whatever I could put in my mouth. I was digusting. I'm not quite sure if it was insecurity or that I thought I was on vacation.
4) When I fall off the Atkins wagon I have a tendency to say'Oh well the day is shot I might as well eat whatever I want and start back up tomorrow.' But then tomorrow comes and the day after and I don't want to go back to restraining myself again no matter how awful I feel now and how good I felt then. Like this morning, when I said that I was going to start back on, my excuse was that I was running late and, since I was out of town and had missed my weekend grocery trip, there was nothing Atkins-friendly in the house. I drove through a fast food restaurant on my way to work with the idea that I was also going to have to eat fast food for lunch anyway because I had had no time to prepare anything like I normally do.
It stops NOW!! I might have fast food for lunch but it will be Atkins-friendly, I don't care how tempted I am. I need to start looking at my screw-ups as not messing up the whole day and giving me license to eat whatever I want the rest of the day but as screwing up that one meal. Instead of as a whole day wasted because of one mistake, as having the rest of the day to correct my one mistake. I will not go out of town on mini-breaks and I will not eat out at restaurants that are expensive enough to make me feel cheated if I order low carb options. I can already see that my self-control will be tested this weekend. My mother and I will be giving a bridal shower and almost none of the food that we will be serving will be Induction friendly. I most definitely need to re-vamp the menu and fix my own separate meal. It's sad but necessary. Part of the reason that I want to lose this weight is for my friend's wedding in June. It would be a little too ironic that in celebrating her wedding I would sabotage my plan and be disappointed at her wedding.
Sorry about the long post and I appreciate all you who have perservered and reached the end of my self-pitying rant. I just needed to get my mad out of my system so that I could think more positively about myself and the rest of my day.
Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I wouldn't have made it this far even with my screw-ups without everyone's support of every other person that comes to this board.
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