Anorexic And Bulimic

[Rome2Florence]

can someone please help me?

[Brook]

((((((Rome)))))))

There are more of us out here that understand where you're coming from than you can possibly imagine.

I'm proud of you for stepping up and calling it what it is and getting it out there. For me, that was truly the hardest part.

I know this isn't what you're going to want to hear, but the best advice I can give you is to start by talking to your doctor. This isn't something most of us can deal with "on our own", and if you don't get some of these behaviors nipped bud ASAP, you're going to be dealing with a lifetime of behavior issues that you struggle to control. Believe me on this one.

You're in the right place so far as getting support to focus on eating well and exercising and dropping the weight in a healthy way, but there is more to this than just those things. Don't short change yourself. You, your health and your body deserve much, much more than that.

((((((((Hugs))))))))))

[2big4mysize]

yep talk to your doctor first. there are many mnay folk here with food issues and know where you are coming from emotionally.

Are you at ADBB cause you are doing a healthy low carb way of eating and also have an ED?

[Ninane]

Hi, you are such a lovely girl!
I know it's so hard to face things and come clean. You are so brave and I'm so proud of you!
I don't know what else you are going through in your life, and I would never presume to know exactly what you have to face everyday. I know two things though:
1. All of us on this board know what it's like to struggle with weight, and be sure that if you need support, you'll always get it here.
2. The difference between success and failure is, that to be successful, you need to get up one more time, everytime, for as long as it takes, until you get there.

I believe that you can achieve whatever you wish to, be it to lose weight or anything else. You just need to focus on it, think about it hard, and know what it is you want. There are no shortcuts to success in anything. If you choose to take the short (and very dangerous) way, you'll lose so much, and gain no character. I tell my kids everyday that trying one more time will make you smarter, tougher and you'll have so much more to offer someone else tomorrow.

I didn't want to preach, I just need you to know you're not alone.

[Brook]

The thing that people who've never dealt with anorexia/bullemia don't know/understand is that it's not just a self control issue. There is a much bigger picture at play, so please, don't think that just continuing to put your nose to the grindstone is going to solve the problem. These are very real, very difficult issues that require professional help.

Please. Get it.

In the meantime, we're here, and there are plenty of us that know and understand the A/B issues you're dealing with.

Hang in there!
~Brook

[sallyseachange]

Good advice from the others... your doctor should be able to help. Good for you for speaking up. It must've taken guts. Get good advice and you'll be on top of these issues sooner than you think. You can do it!
Sal

[Brook]

Originally Posted by Rome2Florence

Thank you so much for all your replys... every little bit helps me very much, so thank you. But one thing I do know is, this problem I have, no doctor can help me with.

I'm sorry, Rome, but you don't know that. You can not possibly know that because you haven't talked to them. We're not talking about a willpower issue here. Bullemia and anorexia are prime examples of willpower. It takes willpower to go days and days eating almost nothing and/or making yourself pop laxs and throw up. Maybe what you didn't glean from everything I said to you is that I've been a bullemic since I was about 14 years old. I'm not talking from POOMA.com (Pulled Out Of My @ss) - I've been where you are and here I am, 16 years later still fighting a battle because "I KNEW NO DOCTOR COULD HELP ME." I'm here to tell you that's a load of crap..and a dangerous load at that.

I already have the mind set that when I have a problem, the best person to help with my problem is whoever knows me best.. which is myself. If i go to a doctor for help, in my mind i'll put myself through even more stuff knowing i couldn't do it on my own. I've been brought up to be a strong person, and well this is my time i'm not.

We are by and large a perfectionist group - so your attitude in this department is nothing unique - Want to know what weakness is? Weakness is being too scared, too stubborn, too proud, and too dumb to know when to say 'when'. Weakness is continuing to hurt your body so no one knows that you have a problem. Weakness is lying to yourself and continuing to say you can handle something you haven't been able to handle on your own thus far.

Strength, on the other hand, is knowing when to ask for help and being brave enough to do so. Strength is recognizing that you're not super human and you have an issue that needs professional assistance. Strength is being strong enough to admit that you're not perfect.

So basically, it's the first time I'm allowing myself to get a little more help than just me myself, because i do know if this isnt solved soon, then it'll keep on going and make matters worse.

You're 100% right here. If you don't get this solved soon you're going to have more issues than you can imagine. You'll spend thousands on dentistry because the bile from your stomach will permanantly damage the enamel on your teeth. You'll spend thousands between doctors and GI specialists because you've got a weak colon from all the laxatives or can't eliminate unless you're using laxatives. Your esophogus will wind up permanantly damaged and make you exponentially more prone to esophogial cancer because you've been shoving your finger down your throat and exposing that to errosive bile. Your stomach muscles will learn to cramp so badly you can't stand up. Textures will start to give you problems so you no longer have to force yourself to throw up, but merely think about certain things and it's a done deal. Anxiety will heap on you like you haven't begun to imagine yet. You think you're obssessed with food and nutrition and exercise now? Keep this up and you'll wind up on more anxiety meds than you can shake a stick at. Yep. Matters WILL get worse. Make no mistake.

So this is the most help I'll allow myself to recieve from others.

If that's true, I wish you the very best of everything, but I'm *really* sorry to hear that.

Yes i know it may sound dumb, but knowing i can do things for myself is what makes me ME.

If you could do all this yourself, why did you post? Lets be honest here, okay? If you could do all this by yourself, you wouldn't have asked for this much help. Again, putting yourself out there like this takes GUTS. It's not a weakness. The only weakness in it is in you seeing yourself as weak for doing so, and believe me love, seeing yourself as weak for coming this far IS a weakness.

One thing i need alot of help on is ambition. And reading others successful stories helps so much.. so if any of you have ever overcomed an obstacle like this, i would love to hear about it. Thanks for all your help you guys.

We're here and our stories are all here. While it's true this place is full of people with eating issues, trying to address ALL eating issues the same would be like trying to treat ALL cancers the same. It's an exercise in futility and self defeat.

Please, understand that I haven't said a word here because I don't understand where you're at and where you're coming from. I've been very straight forward in all of this with you because I DO get it and I CARE even though you and I don't know each other. I'm probably the most proud and stubborn broad I know. I *get* it. I also get what it's like to be 16 years down the path you're just starting on.

Get the help and stop being stubborn. It's not a trait here that will serve you well at all. It has the very real potential to destroy you both emotionally as well as physically. This isn't kids-play. This is grown-folks stuff that needs to be addressed like grown-folks stuff.

(((((((Hugs)))))))
~Brook

[BabyDreamer]

I am not A/B, but my sister-in-law Rachel is. She has been since she was in 7th grade or so. Anyway, she never went for help until she choked on a grape at dinner one night. She has puked so much over the years the her throat was so cut up and dissolved nothing would go down. She just had to have a serious operation where they cut her throat open to help repair some of the damage, but she will never be able to eat normally. You need to get some help before more serious healthy problems arise. I mean, had someone not been home when she ate a GRAPE she would have died at age 28!

Deb

[CarrieSmattick]

Hi,

Firstly I can say I know exactly how you feel as I have been in your shoes, I was there for 10 years. (2yrs A - 8yrs B)

It took me many years to realise that hurting myself was bad and not a sign of strength. I know that the fact you have cried out for help here is a sign that you are ready to let someone help you - this is good.

The first person I told was my husband whom had been my partner for 12 years at that time. He was brilliant. I thought he'd say I was crazy and expect me to just be able to stop. He was the opposite. He read about eating disorders to understand why I felt how I felt and to find a way to help me help myself.

He talked me into going to see my doctor (which took him a while). I eventually agreed and made an appointment, that was the first day on my road to recovery.

My doctor referred me to a physchotherapist and a dietician. The physchotherapist talked to me for hours at a time about the 'how, when and why' and the dietician went through a diet that I should try to eat - which took a long time to get used to. They were both fantastic and understood exactly how I felt.

I spent months in councilling and when I felt I could leave I enrolled at college and now I'm doing great.

If I hadn't taken that step when I did, I might not be here today. Your organs can only handle so much abuse before they give up.

I still have a hate/hate relationship with food but I am improving. I will always be 'recovering', never 'recovered' because I will always have tendancies to lean towards eating disorders but I have been recovering now for two and a half years and I get stronger every day.

I hope that this is the right time for you to take your first step.

If you need to talk to someone who knows how you're feeling, I am here.