| Dear Nicotine,
Well, as the long and intimate relationship we've shared together for the past thirty-two years comes to a close I think a letter of good-bye is not only appropriate - but essential.
You've been more than simply a part of my life, you have managed without my full realization to worm your way into every facet of my being. Offering me relief when I was stressed, comfort when I was alone, bored, depressed or lost. You have even provided me with confidence when I had to face the world with damaged self esteem.
But looking back, I realize now that every promise you made to me, every comfort was a lie.
You never relaxed me because you're a stimulant, you never relived my boredom because with or without you I would have been bored regardless. And although I didn't know it there were always ways to relive the boredom and enrich my life - but you robbed me of that. And of course depending on you as I did, I allowed it.
The confidence you promised was no less of a lie, it was within me the whole time, every time.
But you - you wanted me to believe otherwise. That somehow, some way pulling those filthy diseased and toxic fumes deep into my lungs provided me with courage. But again and like everything about you - you are a lie.
You turned me into an addict and I confused habit with addiction, so I defended you as my choice, but addicts don't have freedom of choice and perhaps that's the biggest lie about you of all, although certainly not the deadliest.
The deadliest aspects of you old friend reside in your truths, not your lies.
Since freeing myself of you at 7:30 AM March 18th 2005 - I have learned more about you than I ever knew and that knowledge is now my greatest weapon against you - and I will use it every day, every hour and if need be every second to defeat you, to destroy you for the life draining, disgusting, insidious parasite of death that you are.
You are a serial killer, devoid of shame, reason or mercy. To date you are responsible for more deaths than World war one and world war two - combined.
You claim 400,000 lives a year, but you're not claiming mine - not anymore.
Mankind has found only two purposes for Nicotine. As an insecticide and cigarettes, you offer nothing of value and worth. You only bring pain, disease, disfigurement and finally slow agonizing death to the poor souls addicted to you. And they pay an average of $150 - $300,000 over the course of their diminished life time for the privilege.
Like a heroin addict has his "works" his syringe and his needle, my works were a pack of Kools and a fancy lighter, oh how we addicts love our paraphernalia and rituals. But it's all about the drug it always has been and it always will be.
Lowly cigarette - all you are, all you ever were and all you ever will be is a delivery system for nicotine. You are devoid of flavor I know that now, so you can't be enjoyed because taste buds don't respond to smoke.
But your tricky, so very tricky setting off those oh so mild but nagging withdrawal pangs and then reliving them immediately with the next puff - no wonder I confused my addiction to you with enjoying you.
But I know better now, I know that pleasure is not the relief of discomfort.
The world is changing and your old tactics don't work as well has they used to do they?
New hosts for a parasite like you are getting more difficult to find and hold onto. And although I may be but only one person, but there are legions both behind and ahead of me.
And on that note, you insidious parasitic lie ~ you won't be dancing on my grave I can assure you of that.
With a bit of luck, one day soon the world will be dancing on yours.
Peter | |
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April 15th, 2005, 06:21 PM
*GOOD BYE TO A SERIAL KILLER* a Farewell to Smoking 
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