Dragged behind the wagon for awhile, have now climbed back in

[shadewolf]

Well, I'm back and I figured out what I was doing that got me so far off track. I made it down to 223 lbs for a little bit. but this past couple months has been bizzare and rough to say the least.

I hit rock bottom this weekend after I had just stopped into work to talk to a couple people, and then chanced to check my email while i was there. Bad move, I discovered I didn't get the promotion I have worked my *** off for this past 4 months. And when I asked my manager about it, he wasn't prepared and didn't have any of the feedback ready yet except that I had messed up the role-playing section of the interview somehow. I completely cracked and couldn't hold back the tears, so I just left. It was a good thing I wasn't having to be working that day as I just was completely non-functinal. I had to sit in the bathroom awhile to regain my composure so I'd be able to drive home I was so upset. I spent the rest of the weekend trying to de-stress as this was really devastating and has really hit a blow to my company loyalty. I called in sick today as the cold I've been fighting for a week has taken a worse turn from this stress and I just couldn't go back in today and try to deal with all that yet.

So i'm going to use this bad energy and funnel it back into my motivation to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose and turn it into something good. I discovered that a big part of why I slowly fell off is that I'd run out of Brita water filters and so couldn't really drink the tap water at home, and couldn't keep spending money at 7-11 to buy drinks. I knew I needed to replace the filter but just never got around to it. that was dumb. Even the filtered water at work tastes like crap so I couldn't pack in as much of it as I needed.

Going from the lack of water, I'd ended up somehow eating less salads too. and while I wasn't really eating anything really bad for me, things were starting to creep in like a bun now and then at a family BBQ. And then came the bloating. so i've been bouncing around between 223 and 230 during all this time. At least it's given me quite a good idea of what I can and can't eat that causes me to bloat, and has shown me that it's really not too hard to keep my weiight stable at any particular level. that is actually a relief since I'm more or less halfway to my goal and I have bit more peace of mind that i'll be able to maintain that weight goal forever once I get there.

At least one good thing I've done while being dragged behind the wagon by my fingernails is to start a Fitness, Health & Wellness initiative in my workplace. I've launched a number of sports groups and they are going well. I'm the captain of the Stair-climbing team (which I've set-up in the form of a challenge to get people moving) and the Martial Arts Team. I'm also heading up the weightloss support group which is good. Now I have accountability present at work all the time which is going to be a big help.

So now I've made my way back to this board, and have started logging my food on fitday again. Without that I just didn't and couldn't really keep track of what I was eating very well. I'm glad that my drag behind the wagon hasn't set me back really except for several pounds of bloatedness and it's just my motivation, record keeping and attention to detail that needs a kick in the pants here. As soon as I can breathe without coughing I'm heading back to the gym as well since I've had to give that a rest while being sick :-(

Thank god for this board being here so we all have somewhere to go when we need a kick in the pants to keep at it!

[Terry]

Hi shadewolf

Welcome to the STAC forum. You have come to the right place! Im sorry about not getting the promotion you have worked for. It really hurts when we work so hard at a goal and it doesnt come to pass like we hope. Maybe in the future bigger and better things are awaiting you.

You did very well to maintain within a few pounds for the past few months. Now you can dig in and finish the job.

Take time to check out the slickys at the top of the forum. They are very helpful as a refresher when re-inducting.

Come often and post alot!!

[clairebear]

Hi Shadewolf, I think you and I are in the same boat today.

After doing commiting to this WOE since November last year, I ended up feeling like I was depriving myself of some favourite treats (namely high quality chocolate and home made pasta) - so I decided to go out, have one "naughty" off-program meal and get on with life. So I had wonderful dinner out but this ended up turning into a two week binge!

What a mistake!

I had a mental checklist of all the junk food that I had wanted to eat over the last six months or so, I did a pretty good job of getting through it all. I did it all the expense of my vegies as well, I hardly ate anything that wasn't processed, battered or full or sugar.

Subsequently, I felt like crap, so I stopped going to the gym after a couple of days. My logic was how that I didn't want to exert my body when it was running on such inferior, crap-ridden fuel. After a week of not exercising and doing my physio-perscribed back exercises, I put my back out and have not been able to sleep or move properly. So I end up feeling even worse and I now I have picked up a virus / cold, so I'm also at home, in bed feeling terribly sorry for myself and knowing that I only have myself to blame.

I'm forcing myself to chug through all of my water (which is not normally a problem for me) but my throat is so sore, I can hardly swallow. I'm trying not to think of it as punishment but I do deserve it!

I weighed myself only to find I have put on over 3.5kg!! (I think that is over 7.5 pounds)

So Shadewolf, like you I'm here in the STAC forum because I know I have to turn myself around....

So, I've just had some yummy scrambled eggs and I'm just about to refill my one litre chug-a-lug water cup again, I'm starting a clean induction again today.

I'm hoping, after a nap, that I can waddle my way up to the gym and very carefully (my back is still very fragile and keeps spasming) do some weights and some time on a bike (and hope that no one from my work sees me, I am home sick after all).

Shadewolf, lets jump back on that wagon together. Just make sure you have a working water filter.... and a SPARE!!

(Remember that if you ever run out, you can just purify your water by boiling it for a couple of minutes.)

[Natasha]

Hi Shade....

Welcome to STAC....We are happy to have you here....Try not worry about that promotion...that was Gods way of saying that its not your time....Pray about it...

We are here to help you as much as you need.....So lean on us for support....

[Desertthorn]

Shadewolf, My job has been giving me the same kind of stress and I understand completely. If you like the job, then just make them very sorry that they didn't promote you by being better than the person they did, keep a great smile on your face, stay positive and vocuse. If you don't like the job, start putting your resume' together and start floating them out to see what you can find that you like.

Happy that you joined us cause this has to be a great support system. We can do this.

[as0l0]

if you didn't get that promotion then you need to keep your eyes open for the other thing the world/universe has planned for you. not getting the promotion simply means that the world/universe couldn't spare that time for you to be working harder, because you are needed elsewhere.

good luck!