Atkins Diet

Go Back   Atkins Diet > Main Forum > Atkins for Support > Second Time Around Club
Forgot Password? Register

Reply
 
Bookmark and Share LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old February 18th, 2008, 01:31 PM
Adena's Avatar

Status: Glad to be back... taking it one day at a time.
Atkins Phase: 14-day Induction
S/C/G Weights: 285+/252/165/ Low weight: 191 (Nov. 2007)
 
Join Date: Aug 16, 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,906
Rep Power: 98
Adena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond repute
Default I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

I've resisted the thought that I need to be here. I keep telling myself that because I haven't gained all my weight back, I'm not really a "second time arounder." I keep telling myself I'm just going through a rough patch, but have never really left, Atkins or ADBB and therefore, this isn't my second time... it's still my first time. But this "rough patch" has been going on since August of 2007. I've made some progress since then, but also lost some ground. Lately, I've lost more ground than I've gained. Or more accurately, I've gained more than I've lost...

I think I've resisted coming here because it signifies that I've failed the first time. But clearly, whether or not I've regained all my weight, I HAVE failed at staying on plan. And I have tried repeatedly over the past 6 months to get back on track. Sometimes it works, but for the long term, it doesn't. I feel myself going back to old, secretive, guilty, out-of-control eating habits. I wake up hopeful and go to bed feeling discouraged.

I had such incredible freedom from this feeling when I was on 100% on plan for nearly a year. I can't even described how good I felt, how CHANGED. But I don't have to find the right words, because I know you guys already know.

My lowest weight ever on Atkins was 191 this past fall. I've hovered in the high 190s/low 200s for the past few months. I think I'm at 207 right now. Yesterday I walked by a wall of mirrors in a salon and my butt and stomach were sticking out a lot further than they have in a long time. All my new smaller clothes are tight, and I'm having to wear girdle-like things to smooth out the bulges. And I've given away ALL my big clothes, so I have nothing left to go back to. I truly didn't think I'd ever need them again.

I'm not even enjoying the forbidden foods I'm eating... okay, maybe a few things taste really good, but as I eat most of it, I'm thinking to myself... this really isn't even worth it. Yet I keep eating it.

I just can't find that will power again. This is harder than it was the first time for sure. Which is crazy because THIS time, I know first hand how easy it is once I get into the groove; I know how good I feel on Atkins; I know how not worth it all that crap food is. So, armed with all this knowledge, you'd think that would make it easy to just white-knuckle through induction, and then those first few weeks, until it starts to feel a lot easier. Because I know how GOOD it is on the other side. But I'm fighting it tooth and nail.

I can't even bring myself right now to go back to my journal. I have no idea how many times over the past 6 months I've recommitted myself. I'm embarrassed to do it again.

So I've come here. I'm hoping I can glean something here that I haven't found elsewhere. Although I know that what I really need to find is within myself somewhere...
__________________
F/37/5'7" ~ Started: 8/1/06.
Links: My Journal~ On "loose" skin


Last edited by Adena; February 18th, 2008 at 02:02 PM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old February 18th, 2008, 01:51 PM
Alexa's Avatar

Status: Today I'm going to OWL like it's 1999
Atkins Phase: OWL Rung 1
S/C/G Weights: S:210/RSW:196/CW:186/GW:168
 
Join Date: Nov 05, 2006
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 6,831
Rep Power: 113
Alexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond reputeAlexa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Hi Adena,

That is a brave post - it is hard to admit you are struggling especially, I think as you haven't been away. Since August 2007 I've been dealing with the same struggle, I've re-started, I'd estimate about ten times at least since then. It is weird because, like you said it is so good when you're in the groove and cheating or whatever is not an issue.

However, I think you should also think of what you've achieved. You ran a marathon right?! That is full commitment to your health, even if you didn't get the food right all the time. Also, by hanging on in there, keeping trying and not going and gaining it all and coming back you show you have got the determination not to give up and the awareness that this WOL is long term. It's just a bumpy ride.

I hear you on the giving away of clothes - but that's why you did it I guess - it's an alarm system

I really hope you can get back on the wagon for good - I think i know how it feels to be half on half off for ages and not enjoying it. I'm still in that uneasing not trusting myself place now.

Best of luck - and remember you are a great inspiration to loads of people around here!
__________________
27 Female 5'7
2001ish 220lbs+ ~~~~~~~~~2009 186lbs





Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old February 18th, 2008, 01:59 PM
julirama723's Avatar

Atkins Phase: OWL Rung 9
S/C/G Weights: 270+/190/170
 
Join Date: Sep 19, 2006
Location: Big Sky Country
Posts: 12,786
Rep Power: 131
julirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond reputejulirama723 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Adena, thank you for that post--it was very open and honest and brave.

Can you see how wide-open my arms are? That's to give you a big hug and to welcome you to STAC. It doesn't matter the reason that you are here, only that you ARE HERE and dedicating yourself to Atkins again.

Don't be a stranger here, even if you decided to go MIA from your journal. Keep posting and keep talking. And I expect 83.61 posts to my journal each day at the very minimum.

{{{{{{{{{{ADENA}}}}}}}}}}}
__________________
MG1: 220-12/2/06~~MG2: 210-1/07~~MG3: 199-3/2/07~~MG4: 190-4/27/07~~MG5: 180-7/04/07~~GOAL: 170

F / 26 / 5'8" FITDAY

Missoula Marathon 7/13/08 5:41


Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance
GLUTEN-FREE since 10/08
CORN-FREE since 10/08
DAIRY-FREE since 11/08
SOY-FREE since 11/08

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old February 18th, 2008, 02:12 PM
hopejoy's Avatar
ADBB Admiral

Atkins Phase: 14-day Induction
 
Join Date: May 17, 2007
Location: california
Posts: 4,319
Rep Power: 68
hopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond reputehopejoy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Hey Adena,
that was a brave and great post! You are in a scary spot having given away all your clothes and struggling with food addictions. That marathon you ran was amazing! I'm so inpired by that! and I'm wondering if your body is needing more nutrition which is triggering food cravings after all that expenditure of energy....???? I'm certainly no expert... but welcome to STAC and don't be too hard on yourself. You have accomplished so much. Is it really necessary for you to go all the way back to a clean induction for you to feel successful? Maybe your body needs the fruits or something else? just a thought. do a level that you can be successful at JUST FOR A DAY and see where that takes you. hang in there.
hugs,
liz
__________________


Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old February 18th, 2008, 02:19 PM
ADBB Advocate

Atkins Phase: OWL Rung 9
 
Join Date: Mar 14, 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 657
Rep Power: 13
Sheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to beholdSheepie is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Why would you deny the STACers?? Why, it's almost worth quitting this woe and starting over just to join this STAC board!! Don't be embarrassed. We are very cool and this is the place to be. No more feeling sorry for yourself. A fresh start, new friends, you can't lose, well, I mean you will lose. Don't forget to join the daily check-in post. It helps to keep you accountable. I haven't lost much since this past summer either. There are a few of us hovering around 200lbs, so we definitely understand. Welcome.
__________________

start date 03/20/07
female/46yrs/5'5.5"
hw255/sw250/cw189/gw148






Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old February 18th, 2008, 02:28 PM
colleenieweenie's Avatar
ADBB Adventurer

Atkins Phase: Maintenance
S/C/G Weights: 133/105/105-110
 
Join Date: Oct 02, 2007
Location: Colorado!
Posts: 478
Rep Power: 8
colleenieweenie is a glorious beacon of lightcolleenieweenie is a glorious beacon of lightcolleenieweenie is a glorious beacon of lightcolleenieweenie is a glorious beacon of lightcolleenieweenie is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

I think many of us on the STACer board have been exactly where you are right now. No one wants to admit failure - it sucks wind. You haven't failed though. You recognized some issues and have come to resolve them - Good for you!
WELCOME!!!!
Best of luck to you!
__________________





5'0/35/Mom of three boys
SW 133
CW 104 - GOAL!
GW 105-110
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old February 18th, 2008, 03:49 PM
Adena's Avatar

Status: Glad to be back... taking it one day at a time.
Atkins Phase: 14-day Induction
S/C/G Weights: 285+/252/165/ Low weight: 191 (Nov. 2007)
 
Join Date: Aug 16, 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,906
Rep Power: 98
Adena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond reputeAdena has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Alexa, I appreciate what you said about the marathon, but the problem is that I've been using that -- and anything else I can think of -- as a crutch for too long. Or saying to myself.... well, at least I'm running. Well, that's not enough. I can probably credit my running to not having gained more back, but that's probably where I need to stop giving credit. That said, I'm proud of what I've accomplished... but the food demons are starting to overshadow everything, you know?

Thanks, Julie. I need that hug. I'm not sure I've said much that I haven't already said in my journal, but it feels different here.... and by being here I'm trying to admit that I've departed (even if not completely) -- and I'm trying to come BACK.

Thanks, Liz... I have tried that half-way back approach, and it doesn't work for me either, unfortunately. I think that part of my problem is that for a long time, I've considered myself "better than" having to start completely over. I mean, since I never totally went away, do I really have to start back at square one? But I think I've finally realized that I'm no different than a newbie at this point -- not at least in terms of my body's reaction to carbs, and all the crap I've been putting into it. I've been confusing it for too long... Thanks too, for the marathon good wishes, but I do have to stop leaning on that as a crutch/excuse to go off plan, you know? One "good deed" does not give me permission to be slack otherwise, and I think that's exactly what I've been doing lately...

Thanks for the welcome, Sheepie. Or course I don't mean to dis you terrific STACers. For me, it's just a matter of admitting I've COMPLETELY lost control again and have no choice but to start back at square one. It's no longer a rough patch. I'm OFF plan, and it's time to come BACK.

Thanks, Colleen -- I knew you guys could relate, which is why I figured it was time to join you. I appreciate the welcome.
__________________
F/37/5'7" ~ Started: 8/1/06.
Links: My Journal~ On "loose" skin

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old February 18th, 2008, 04:22 PM
snap's Avatar
ADBB Adventurer

Atkins Phase: 14-day Induction
 
Join Date: Oct 25, 2004
Location: TX
Posts: 162
Rep Power: 8
snap is a jewel in the roughsnap is a jewel in the roughsnap is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Welcome! I can relate to the giving away all the clothes that were too big. I did that also. Because, like you, I never planned or thought that I would ever fit into them again. Now... I do not have a single pair of jeans in my closet that fit me. Talk about a rude awakening! I felt like keeping those big clothes was like giving myself permission to be that size again... anyways.... I am going to fit into everything again. Actually, they are going to be too big one day. And, I will gather them up and put them in the local donation box.
You will get back on track. Before you know it the pounds will start falling off. Keep the faith and come here often. The stac folks are awesome. I don't post all that much. But, I read the board everyday. It keeps me motivated and focused. And. most of all....it lets me know that I am not alone in my struggle. A difficult path is indeed more easily traveled with friends.

Hugs...
Tina
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old February 18th, 2008, 05:00 PM
OzLover's Avatar
JOURNAL CHATS HOSTESS

Status: One day at a time...
Atkins Phase: OWL Rung 1
 
Join Date: Feb 22, 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 6,835
Rep Power: 114
OzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond reputeOzLover has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Adena

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling...we've all been there & some of us are right there with you. I think the honesty in your post is a huge step. Sometimes confession is a step forward. Keep posting, keep talking about how you are feeling & you'll get the support that you need at this time.
__________________
"You always had it. You always had the power."~~ Glinda the Good Witch


Glenda
F/5'10/47
261/xxx/160

MY JOURNAL
"I believe that the best way to overcome temptation is not with willpower, which is so often in short supply, but with our brain power, a potentially unlimited resourse." ~~Dr. Atkins
"Do nothing and nothing gets done. Do something and many things are placed in motion. Regardless of what you are doing in life, you need to take action. Do something every day to put your plan in motion."
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old February 18th, 2008, 07:01 PM
Evermind's Avatar
ADBB Admiral

Atkins Phase: 14-day Induction
 
Join Date: Jul 29, 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,200
Rep Power: 26
Evermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant futureEvermind has a brilliant future
Default Re: I can no longer deny I'm a STACer

Yep, yep. You belong here. But it's not so bad. We are the coolest people around. Honest.

I know exactly what you mean about not having the willpower. It's really tough, and no matter what advice you get from people, it all boils down to WILLINGNESS. Being willing to do what you have to. And if you aren't willing, you won't stick to it. That's really the cause of all of our backsliding.

I don't know about anyone else, but willingness is not something I can just reach out and grab when I want it. I can't coax myself into it, meditate myself into that mindset, or bribe myself. I either am or am not.

I know that for me, I was not willing to do 2 weeks of induction. Or reinduction. Just wasn't. I would go ok for a few days, but never could make it past that. The willingness wasn't there. It was just too big of a chunk to bite off for me.

So here's the deal: See if you can commit to doing induction for 5 days. Just five. That's all you have to do. After 5 days, if you want to eat a pound of Little Debbie Snack cakes in one sitting, you can.

Just five days. Can you do it?
__________________
Start date: 7/29/2007

Scale: SW:235 CW:193
GW:150

Tape Measure: I've lost 42.5 inches as of 3/15/2008

Mini goals:
215 - met 9/10/07
205 - met 10/17/07
195 - met 2/20/08
180

I survived a two-month stall!

[

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0
Copyright © 2003-2005, Atkins Diet Bulletin Board. All rights reserved.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348