Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

[Erin K]

Hi everyone.
I am at work right now, so this will have to be fairly brief and to the point...

Last night I found out my father is being tested for colon cancer. And has been living for the past 10 years with Hep C ... and the doctor has never told us....

That is the story...After going into shock... getting mad.. and crying my eyes out... what did our family do? we ate... and cried...and ate and cried... and ate...

I am MY Daddy's girl..... i can't think of my life without him in it...

I won't go into specifics, but all you need to know, is I am so far off the wagon after last night....

I feel out of control of MY LIFE. I know i can gert a grip on my eating... I have... but i am in the mindset.. of is it worth it in the big picture?

Do i give in to my grieving for the time they will have stolen from me, my kids.... i just want to lock myself away and sit down with something that will make me feel better...

thank you for listening... and if I dissapear for a while (after just having come back.. i know) You all know where I am.... I will be back....

[peacefuljourney]

Hi Erin,

I can feel your pain through your post. There are so many options - even if he has colon cancer. I understand your need to question this but there is hope. Your Dad needs you to be hopeful. It is a key component to healing.

Re: eating. I think if you try to stay with healthy eating, it will help you through this difficult time as well.

Keep going. My thoughts are with you and your family. S-

[Desihue]

Erin I am so sorry to hear about the devastating news that was delivered to you regarding your dad. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going thru right now. I do know about the power of losing weight and meeting weight loss goals. As much as I'm sure the comfort foods you are eating might taste good(temporarily), and as good as you may (think you) feel, I'm thinking it's totally NOT worth it in the end. The main reason being, you are grieving your father's fate and the LAST thing you need is added weight on top of that. I am speaking from personal experience that on my absolute WORST day, I can count on exercise to make me feel a little better if not a LOT better. Not only that, you need to be in the very best of health so that you can be strong for your dad, children, and your family. You can't do that very effectively if you're eating bad foods and not taking good care of your body. I see you have already lost some weight...congrats to you!

Please, DO NOT give up your weightloss dreams in the midst of this storm.

((HUGZ))

[SandyL2002]

Erin I know exactly what you are going through but one important thing is that you need to take care of you too...that is what your dad would want... Hang in there..praying for your dad

[Erin K]

Thank you Ladies so much....
Yes last night when we all went for supper... i just wasn not about to start being picky about what was in my food... given the circumstances... My losing 30 pounds is a spit in the ocean to what my dad is going through right now...

I have not fallen into a pit of over indulging on bad foods... I am finding it hard to eat at all today... I really want to prevail this for myself... but i just feel like i don't want to (and I know this is a "right now feeling"....)

Thank you all for your words.

[Lisa]

For you and your family.

[SHALISA]

Erin i am in hopes and prayers for your father as well as your family!
I am sure all will be okay! I have to add when it comes to cancer i have to say i understand what it does and it can claim a life just like that yet most is over time!
As for my father i lost him to a heart attack.
No warning nothing!
He passed in my arms in 2000.
It was an awful experience.
This way you do have time as well as hope and possible solutions!!!
I hope and pray for the best for you and yours!
God bless! Your sister in christ!

[judyintn]

Erin, I really want to encourage you to try to separate the grief you are feeling from what you put into your body. Being overweight is not going to make you feel better.

Let me share something with you. I started Atkins in 2005 and I think I weighed 187 at that time. I had lost down to the low 160's, and then starting January of 2006, we had a series of tragedies. My grandmother died, my 55 year old step father was killed in a freak tree cutting accident, and my husband sustained severe brain damage from carbon monoxide poisoning. I stopped caring and started eating.

I gained back up to 181 pounds. I still had to deal with all of the crappy stuff that was going on in my life, and I was not taking care of myself at all. When you are dealing with horrible things, you need to be sure to make time for yourself and to realize that YOU are important. I lost sight of that for a while. I went back on Atkins December of 2008, and now I am down 40 pounds. I look good. I feel good. My stepfather is still gone. My husband is still sick, but losing weight and taking care of myself has given me the confidence and self esteem that I need to have in order to be strong and take care of my family. Please don't put yourself on the back burner, it won't help you or your family. You will be in my prayers.

[Bazie]

I am sincerely sorry about the news you and your family has received regarding your father. I am a daddy's girl as well and a father means so much to his daughter and vice versa. I feel your pain. I just want you to remember that you too are someone else's world and from the love I see in your post a wonderful mother...your family and friends deserve a healthy you as well as you deserving your father. If you can and if I may be so blunt, be healthy...eat healthy..because you do not want to take years from your family either. Believe me when I say that I feel some of your pain, my father is a coal miner and with that comes health issues and we are facing them. I know how hard it is to see anything but that wonderful man and what he is going through and thinking what you may one day go without. But please think of yourself and if that really isn't possible, I will think of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family along with my faith.

[TaylorMac]

I am so terribly sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my husband in sudden and unexplained circumstances almost 6 months ago and believe me when I say I understand that feeling of helplessness and losing control. A widow at 33 years old.

But for your healths sake and the sake of your family, you must take yourself in hand now and stop eating bad carbs. Self destruction will only make things worse in the long run and you may need your good health and strength for what lies ahead.

Trust me, as grim as the future looks now...it is TOTALLY worth staying on track for the big picture. I'm sure Dad wants only the best for his girl and would want you to remain strong. Take care and you'll be in my thoughts.

-T