More times around than I can count

[picturegrl]

I've written so many introductions here -- I'll spare you all one more. So here I am again. Two years ago, I lost 70 pounds in a year by being faithfully religious to Atkins. I mostly stayed in Induction, with cheats back and forth. I started at 289. Finished at 220.

I was doing so well. I'd reached the point where I didn't want things like bread or sweets. I can remember going to a restaurant and crying because my best friend was trying to make me eat a hamburger and french fries. It meant that much to me. I knew that cheat would set off a two week binge. And it did. Friends kept telling me to eat more fruit, more vegetables, that the body needs carbs, etc. They wouldn't listen when I explained my body WAS getting carbs -- in the form of vegetables.

They told me simply cutting back calories and eating whatever I wanted, I would still lose weight. But it didn't work that way. I wouldn't eat just 300 calories of macaroni and cheese or whatever. I'd binge it hard and feel like crap about myself.

I had a strong/wrong incentive to lose weight quickly before my friend arrived, so I fell into the Kimkins crowd. And I shot my diet to **** and back. For some reason, Kimkins totally broke what was left of my motivation, though it really shouldn't have.

So here I am two years later, back to 240. I'm terrified as I watch the weight creep up. I feel so very alone. I can't find the motivation I once had. I'm 35, 5'1" and I weigh 240 pounds. I'd like to get to around 116, but I'd be happy at my high school weight of 140. I was nice and curvy then. Kids picked on me and called me fat but when I look at the pictures, I seemed small enough.

I really could use support. People who will hold me accountable. I have no support system in my real life world.

I'm skimming the forums, and I don't even know where to start. I'd like to get into a daily accountability thread or ... I don't know. I don't know where I belong. I just know I don't like where I'm going.

Thank you all for having me back, one more time.

[sugarfreeone]

Welcome back. You are definitely NOT alone. Your story sounds very much like my own . I had a "best friend" who would sabbotage me just like your friend did. To me it is a cruel thing. It was like offering alcohol to an alcoholic. I remember that I would hate myself after a binge. I lost a good amount of weight on atkins in 2004 and was feeling wonderful about myself. I was regaining my figure...and then I blew it all..Ive gained it all back and then some. I think I restarted 20 times and then I would give in....Im tired of living my life this way. I need to feel like the person I used to be...not this overweight depressed person I see right now... So here I am again in 2009......back on atkins..and hopefully I am wiser and will be more on guard against sabbotages and cheats that will derail me...Just remember that we need to give ourselves a pat on the back because we keep on trying. Hang in there! Kat

[SandyL2002]

Welcome back.. Please don't feel bad for being back here again.. We ALL have been there at least once or twice or ten times.. If we all were perfect we all would be skinny all the time... The most important thing is that you are here

[chinadoll]

You are right to "surround" yourself with supportive people. This is hard work and you need people who believe in you and will support your decisions. Then you need to believe in yourself. You can do this. One day at a time. I have 15 years on you and have been around the block with this WOE more than once but I am back and it is working. If I can do it, you can do it.

[OzLover]

Welcome to ADBB picturegrl! There is a ton of support here along with a wealth of knowledge. Use them to your advantage.

One thing I want to comment on is I mostly stayed in Induction, with cheats back and forth. Do yourself a favor & follow Dr. Atkins plan by moving up the food rungs & introducing new foods.

Good luck!!

[picturegrl]

Thanks, guys. Yeah, I think I got bored after a while. My diet was mostly two eggs with a slice of cheddar and two pieces of bacon in the morning, tuna at lunch, and a bubba burger with two cups of broccoli every night. Sometimes put mayo or mustard or a tomato and cheddar on the burger to change it a little. Sometimes had the chocolate mousse stuff made with creamed cheese as a snack, or pork skins. I pretty much ate the same stuff every day, and in a way, it was soothing. I didn't have to think about food anymore. But I think I ultimately paid the price.

[AlaskaGirl]

Welcome Picturegrl.

I know what you mean when you say you got bored with the food. I make a point of trying all kinds of new recipes and tweaking other recipes. I am a lazy cook by nature, I hate making a mess in the kitchen but on this WOL you really must work.

Also don't be afraid to move out of induction and start working the rungs. It will give you more food options and hopefully help you loose more and most important not get bored (and cheat).

Good Luck,

Julie

[nturtle]

I'm in your boat totally! I lost 40lbs a year ago. Worked out daily, was 90% faithful on my WOE with an occaisional 'cheat day' that kept me from feeling deprived. It was working for me and I was thrilled to be buying smaller clothes. Then it all just stopped. I kept intending to get back on it and would for a week here and there. Now I'm back 9 lbs from my heaviest weight ever. I'm determined that I'm going to change my life this time. I know this diet works. I know I have the strength. I can't wait to see myself healthy. I also need support and accountability to help me get through the emotional eating habit that I have. So lets keep each other motivated!

[Morrigan]

Well, this thread is certainly perfectly timed! I'm back after losing over 60lbs with Atkins in 2004. I could kick myself for backsliding, but since that's not helpful I'm going to just take a deep breath and move forward.

Here's to losing weight in 2009!