embarassing comeback

[fat2fine]

Hello everyone,

It's been a very long time since I've posted on this forum. I've lurked for a long time, actually starting this WOE in January 2006 but joined the forum before that. Anywhooo, in Jan. '06 I was 260+ lbs, I started a very clean induction and walked everyday. By July '06 I was 199. Once I saw that number on the scale, I don't know what happened. For some reason I thought that I could do this on my own that I could stray from this woe and still maintain or lose. I was so wrong. I kept trying to modify it to suit me at the time, but I didn't work as well as I had hoped. From Jan.-July I was feeling really good about myself, and was actually looking better. I used to get excited about leaving the house and actually wanted to go places and do things which I had not wanted to do in a long time. Then I started to gain the weight back. It was slow at first, because I was still trying to get some exercise in, but I had not exercised any in the last 3 months. I am now back at 245. I had gotten rid of all my fat clothes, telling myself that I would never need them again. I had gone from size 26 to size 18. Now my 18s don't fit. As I gained some weight I bought a few size 22s, and now they are so tight I can't breathe. In my shame, and unwilingness to spend a lot of money, I went to a goodwill 45 minutes away from my home to by a few items of clothing to be able to wear to work while I try to do this again. Imagine my shock when I got home and noticed that the size 24 pants I bought from the Goodwill did not fit. They were too small. I cried for two days. I only have myself to blame. I had a horrible Christmas, because I was too embarassed to visit my family. I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes. The funny thing about all this is (well, not so funny) during the time I was actually losing weight, only my family noticed. When I did decide to leave home, I never saw anyone I knew. Since the weight gain, I run into people I know everywhere I go now. I had the most embarassing conversation at the gas station last weight with a classmate I hadn't seen in a while, but ironically was one of the few people I did see during my weight loss journey. She had this look of "what happened" on her face while we were talking. I'm so tired, my feet hurt, my knees ache while walking DOWN my stairs. I won't even go back upstairs after I come down for the rest of the day. I have absolutely NOTHING to wear. Everything is too small. I can't fit anything to go shopping for new clothes. I don't want to live like this. I can't. I'm tired of crying, it's time to sweat.

Another reason I feel like I need this forum, is because I don't have any fat friends. None of them understand what I go through. I actually had one to tell me that I don't need Atkins because it's not what I eat but how much. I tested that theory, did not work for me.

I'm done whinning now. Any advice/encouragement you can give will be appreciated.

32/Female/5'3"

HW: 263
SW: 245
CW: 245
GW: 165


Mini Goal #!: 235
Mini Goal #2 225
Mini Goal #3 215
Mini Goal #4 205
Mini Goal #5 195

[NavyWife3]

I'm glad you have come back! We are all here to support you in your journey! You can do this!!

[hopejoy]

Oh, wow! Thank you for posting all that! I feel for you right now I really do! I am up 10 lbs from Thanksgiving... it's so easy to gain and so much harder to lose! We are starting up an Induction tread right now starting today, you should join us! It really does help to have the support we get here! Atkins really does work! but it's a woe for life, not short term... I also have gotten rid of my fat clothes... so if I don't get back on track, I'll be shopping at goodwill myself! Hang in there! We all really do understand! Gaining wt is so embarrassing! It's hard to face people when we don't feel good about ourselves! You've come to the right place! You've done it before, you'll do it again! Welcome back!
liz

[fat2fine]

Thanks for support Navywife and hopejoy. I actually have the book this time. I will succeed. And you're right. This should be a lifetime woe not a a short term fix. I think that's how I was looking at it the last time. This time is different because I know that this works.

[Bluebelt2007]

Welcome back, nothing to be embarrassed about. You just fell into the same trap, many of us have. Once we all realizee this is a WOE and WOL, it will work fine. Good luck you know you can do great.

[Sherri]

Welcome Back Fat2fine! You'll be feeling better in no time. Pretty soon the weight will be melting off and those pants that you bought will soon fit better and will be getting looser by the week. If you havn't done so, buy yourself some L-glutamine to fight the cravings, if you have them. Drink your water and start your walking routine again. You'll be back to your ol'self in no time! I'm happy to have met you. I look forward to seeing you here.

[willlose40]

Ahem! are you sure you are not in my head??? I feel you girl! But at least we have the power to come clean and come back! I am with you! Lets do this together one day at a time and you have not failed! You have just let a road block get in your way but push that aside along with all those negative thoughts and keep pushing forward! I have to remind myself every morning why I am on the tredmill and why I am exercising. It is so funny because no matter that I exercise almost everyday, this past days (since Friday) since I got up and still exercised I made up excuses of why I could over eat this holiday season! and I thought it was all ligit!!! silly me!! But I am with you! and we together with everyone else on here can conquer anything!!!!!

[scaleskl]

Welcome back and good luck!

[Grant]

Ahhh that is a heartbreaking story, and a warning for those of us in a similair position to where you were. I'm really glad you've stopped the spiral and are ready to get back on track. We are lucky to have someone so forthright with their WOE woes.

Thank you.

[tmn]

Welcome back and welcome to the club! I'm is somewhat the same boat. I'm back, too, after a little hyatus and regaining all I've lost. So you're not alone in this, Chickie-poo! We both get to bust our assets together and undo the damage! But hey, we can do it!

Jest one of your Fat Friends who understands! LOL!!