Hello all.
This is a really hard post for me to write because it means making a commitment, to the WOE and to the goal to do something about my overall health and wellbeing. I hope you can all forgive me if I go into some background detail, just skip along to the next post if I start to bore you
I'm fair, fat, forty and female. I've been overweight to some degree since I was about 18 (left school, stopped exercising, usual story). I became anorexic at the age of 23, got so skinny my knees were wider than the rest of my legs, my stomach was concave - bikini bottoms were stretched from hip bone to hip bone and the flesh between was a good two inches from the fabric. I felt fantastic but I looked awful (I can see that now) and I did some irrepairable damage to my metabolism and overall health. Thankfully at the age of 25 I got clinical depression. Seriously, being suicidal saved my life. I started eating, a LOT. I piled the weight on, topping out at 245 pounds (I am 5'9"). Finally I saw a doctor and he put me on Prozac, and I made a great recovery from depression but continued to carry the weight.
I guess by this point I was afraid to diet in case the anorexia came back. When I was 30 I had my first child, and dropped 56 pounds through the pregnancy. I had a second child at 31 and maintained the weight afterwards. I'm now at around 200 pounds, although I deliberately don't weigh myself for fear of arousing the Anorexia demon again.
Since 1991 I have not eaten properly, and most days I only eat in the evening, a regular meal. I have no hunger signals, I forget to eat. My metabolism is so low that I can eat 600 calories a day and not lose an ounce. I have disability problems after breaking my ankles in an accident a few years back so I can't easily raise my metabolic rate with exercise. I felt then that the best way to tackle the issue and hopefully get my 'furnace' burning is to eat little and often.
I have started following the low carb route as of Tuesday 22 April. I am eating something every two to three hours (I have an alarm clock set, since I don't actually want to eat anything but I know I have to remember). Just a couple slices of Dutch cheese (I chose that kind because it is the only one in the supermarket here that lists the carbs on the packet), or two desertspoons of creme fraiche with half a spoon of Splenda sprinkled over, or a boiled egg with mayonnaise, or a couple slices of garlic sausage. Just baby bites really, but I don't feel able to manage any more, I am having to force it down as it is.
In the evening I make a proper meal (last night I made prawns in an omelette, the night before a white fish in a beurre blanc sauce) and stack the plate with green vegetables. I treat myself to half a serving of Mentos Sugar Free after dinner, partially for the sweetness but mainly because the Malitol stops me getting constipated. I am drinking three litres of carbonated water (plain) per day, one glass of Pepsi Max with dinner, and have cut down to three coffees per day with Splenda tabs and cream instead of sugar and milk.
I am so sorry this has gone on and on! I just wanted to get it all out I suppose, and to see whether I am going in the right direction. I know there are some 'forbidden' things on my diet sheet that induction doesn't permit, but I am not interested in losing loads quickly, and I don't mind if it takes a while. I only want to lose enough to get my BMI to a healthy level, which I think is about 35 pounds.
Is this something I can do? I've been afraid to commit publically because I am so afraid I am doing it wrong and it won't work and I will crash into a self-destructive place again. I have a son, I can't afford to push that particular button. I suppose I am asking for some support, and if you have made it this far down my marathon post you have already given it. So thank you
Again, I'm sorry I have gone on and on. It's amazing how you don't realise how much there is going on in your head til you try and write it down, I guess that's therapy for you.
April 24th, 2008, 05:04 AM
Making the Commitment 
/GW225!!! 
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