boyfriend 'suggested' I will fail !!

[Momto6ix]

hi all,
I was hear about 2 years ago, and lost 65 lbs using Atkins. My bf and I started the diet together; on his suggestion. He lasted 2 weeks then went back to his old habits. I continued and lost the weight. Over the past year I have gained back 13 lbs. It was a long year, with lots of temptations. I believe the reason I only gained back 13 lbs is because I kept going back to the diet, although without the same determination. No one around me was dieting, not the bf, nor my kids.
to update, my bf went to a dr to see about lap band surgery. He is currently 5'9" and weighs 330 lbs. I have watched him for years now, he simply has no will power, and you can't talk to him about his weight, because he will insist he is an expert on diets, because he has successfully lost weight several times in the past. it does no good to point out that losing and gaining right back does not a success make. so when he mentioned the surgery I thought, this is good, maybe this time he will lose the weight. Everything went fine until 4 wks before his surgery, and he was then, after several months of being told insurance was fine,...........DENIED. needless to say we are both disappointed. I waited several days and then quietly asked him if he has a plan B. to which he snapped at me. I think he was waiting for me to ask so he could finally snap. So I finally said you know what? I'm going back on the atkins. I never did reach my goal, and I accept that my body type, my make up, my who I am; dictates that I cannot eat as I choose or I will gain weight. so I went back on the diet. and his response? now, I understand he is very let down because his own surgery fell thru, but he said to me, oh yeah? for how long this time?

THANK YOU !!!!! all some of us need in life for success is for someone to assume we can ONLY FAIL! I am one of them. I went back on atkins religiously, and also got a partner from work to join me, and we are both very excited about doing this together. My co worker only has to lose about 20-25 lbs and myself about 45. I've already started to lose those pounds, (no surprise there huh?).
I wish I could do something for my bf, but I have learned to accept that only he can help him.

I never did have the gift of precise, sorry this is so long winded..........But--
GLAD TO BE BACK !!

theresa
aka mom to 6 daughters.

[studyinscarlet]

Welcome back Theresa. I'm sorry to hear about your BF. I hope that he can eventually come around to making the decision to be healthy like you have. With Atkins you can decrese your appetite naturally without surgery. I am lucky in that I haven't had to deal with saboteurs but they have been a big problem for a lot of people on this site and on diets in general. Obviously your BF is feeling bad about himself and if you fail then he can feel better about the fact that he is unable to take care of himself. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! This is about you and you have to do it for yourself and no one else. Do not allow his negativity and inactivity to affect your sucess. You are worth it and you can do it! Good Luck!!!

[IvannaLive]

thnx for the read, I dont think its too long. I can relate to a lot of it. welcome back.
I am comeing back my own self after a long perion of just not cariing and thats not a good way for me to be.

[carbless_in_seattle]

I second what vanessa said, and yeah, sometimes it takes people not believing I can do something for me to really want to do it and prove them wrong. Maybe your future success story will ignite him to start this journey as well.

[Lyssie]

You don't need him to succeed, and who knows... maybe if he sees how successful you are, it'll rub off on him... or if you're cooking low carb meals for everyone, he sorta has to eat that way. As a side note, I used to be in Tom's River like, every weekend. I have a couple friends who live down there.

[charks1]

Welcome toTheresa...Nice to meet you and good to have you join us...theres alot of support here..so read up and ask lots of questions...when your ready come join an excersize challenge, I'm the whoo--hooo--- Squat leader..makes me feel important with the title...lol
We're glad you've made the choice to get healthy and lose weight. Also start a journal it's a great way to keep track and to be accountable to yourself!!! Again Welcome

Char

[SunnySmile501]

Welcome back! I was raised on a farm, the youngest child of 11, most of them brothers. All it takes for me to have to prove someone wrong is for them to tell me I can't do it! Nothing makes me more determined!

You can do it and you are well on your way. Good for you getting yourself a partner. You have done very well to only gain back 13 pounds.

I wouldn't put much stock in what BF says right now. He's lashing out because he feels bad about himself. He'll probably come onboard when you get close to goal.

Sunny!

[AFM]

I'm the same way as you Theresa. When someone says something negative to me, it actually motivates me to prove them wrong. I've just returned to the work force after being a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. People told me that I would only make minimum wage and wouldn't have a job with benefits. I didn't give up even though I don't have a degree and now work in the Medical field...with benefits!

Alisha
started induction 3 days ago
180/175/150

[gman]

Theresa-
Congrats on your success including only gaining 13 in the last year. That was not easy. You will do well.
Glenn

[chinadoll]

Hey Theresa, I am your neighbor. I am in Tuckerton! My husband didn't work against me but he wouldn't do it with me either. I found the best way was to keep at it, be successful, and sooner or later he would follow my example. Hang in there and do what you need to do for you. I have to be honest--it does strain the relationship at times, but you are worth taking care of yourself and until he is ready there isn't much you can do. Congratulations for choosing to be good to yourself.