Why I'm here...

[Slapshot]

I remember the day when I was 11 years old and unwittingly started becoming heavy. I was eating a Scooter Pie on the couch and my brother said I shouldn't eat that or else I'd get fat. Of course, I didn't hear that brotherly advice, and all I heard was my big brother telling me what (not) to do. Boy, I decided, I'll show him! Right then, I decided that I'd eat his favorite snacks from the kitchen cupboard first; then, he'd know who's boss!

I also distinctly remember going through a box of Fruit Roll Ups per day because they were "Non-Fat." My parents were good role models for me, but for the longest time I fell into the lowfat/nonfat trap. My brother then took a job at a potato chip company (lucky me) and we'd constantly get boxes of misprint packages or slightly out of date chips/cookies. If it's free, it doesn't count, right?

I slowly started to gain weight. 160. 170. 180. 190. 200. I then didn't make my high school sports team my freshman year because I was overweight, despite my talent. Going to an all boy's school, I had none of the societal pressures that might have otherwise "forced" me into getting my weight under control. Freshman year of college, I ballooned to 220 and was miserable.

Between my freshman and sophomore years, I lost 40 lbs, down to 180 and felt great. I did it primarily by riding my bike everywhere, eating less, and having grilled chicken every night for dinner. Nothing terribly sophisticated or rigid. That was the best year of my life, physically. I felt on top of the world.

Junior year the weight came back as I got bored with clean eating while in college. Plus, I had a job that kept me up at night and the end of my shift was marked with the "reward" of a $4 sandwich at 2am that must have had 1,000 calories in it.

Fast forward 6 years to my last year of graduate school. I again lost 40 lbs, down to 180, and felt great. Did it by eating right, exercising religiously, and no late night eating. Then, my favorite/pet companion died unexpectedly, and I mourned through food. Every day turned into "tomorrow I'll get back on track." Well, we all know how that goes. I slowly started to lose control of the control I had, and by the time I graduated, I gained most of the 40 back.

Six years ago, I lost 30 lbs (down to 190), and it came back after some stressful times at work (desk job ALL day). Since I've married my wife 7 years ago and we had our son a few years ago, I've been stuck in the 200's, and started Atkins at 240. My wife and family's wonderful acceptance of "me for me" is a blessing and somewhat of a crutch. It forces all of the motivation to lose weight to me, and frankly, I'm thankful that's the way it is because now I'm ready to lose the weight once and for all, for me. My health, my wife and son are too important for me to be selfish about being heavy and to selfishly eat my weigh up the charts.

I've concluded a lot of things about why I struggle with my weight and how it got out of control:

1. I don't eat when I'm depressed. I eat as "reward" and when I'm happy (Tough day at work? Time for some Chinese. Something to celebrate? How about a pizza?). I'm blessed to be otherwise very happy in my life, so you can imagine how often I eat for additional celebratory comfort, and not nutrition.

2. Skipping breakfast and being ravenous at night.

3. I can lose weight very quickly, and always have been able to. My metabolic resistance is very low (I've gone from 240-230 on 7 days of induction.) While that sounds like a good thing, it's always been a crutch for me. ("Hey, when I decide to lose weight, no biggie - three months and I'm done.") That has turned out to be an enabler for me, and I now get it.

4. My family rituals revolve around food. I'd have a glass of beer or wine (or 2) to get my appetite up if I knew we were going out to eat! (How crazy is that?)

Well, that's my story. This time it's for real. I can't remember the last time I weighed 165, but that's my goal.

I'm halfway through induction, and I had forgotten how great it feels to not only drop the weight, but to feel good, not be terribly hungry, and still eat foods I like to eat. I know this is now a WOE for me, and not a diet. I'm already sleeping better. My arthritic hip has improved considerably (probably from reduced inflammation from carbs). Six months from now, I'm looking very much forward to being a story with both a Before and After part.

Thanks for listening, and all of you keep up your hard work. It's all worth it in the end. Hope to see you on the other side of the finish line.

[milfit77]

Welcome to the board Slapshot! This is an awesome board for support and questions.

[Slapshot]

Thanks milfit - I agree - this is a great board with a great group of folks!

[blueberrylady]

Welcome Slapshot! (I also welcomed you on another thread but 2 welcomes aren't too much, right)?

Congrats on the 10 lbs. lost so far! You have the right attitude and lots of motivation going for you, so just keep the carbs low, drink your water and post often!

I hope to be seeing you and Boss around alot!

[imagood1]

I must be following Nyna because I also welcomed you before!

I know about eating as a reward....my mother started it when I was young - she thought food was the way she showed she loved us -- I was overweight throughout school but unlike you I went to public school with boys who were harsh!

3 marriages later I have gained and lost at least 2 people's worth of weight and am still heavy but not for much longer. I decided the first of the year that this year was for me - so I'm here doing when I need to do so I can take care of my husband and my mother.

Good for you coming here and realizing already this isn't a quick fix! There are no more excuses -- this is easy to follow, the food tastes wonderful, it just takes a little effort on your part and you'll be at your goal before you know it!

I look forward to seeing your progress!

[Chicklady]

Hi Slapshot Welcome aboard! Make sure you find yourself some different rewards!

[Slapshot]

Thanks for making me feel welcome imagood1 and chicklady! Sounds like many of us have similar stories to share/relate to.

Chicklady - I was just thinking that today - how to reward the mini-goals. I'll give some thought to that...!