Ready to face my new life

[NathanBathory]

Gosh, where to begin? Well, I guess the beginning is the best.

I have never been a thin child. Even in days when I was slightly chubby (we're talking beginning of elementary school) I always felt like I was a million times heavier than anyone else.

In my high school years I weighed in at 350 pounds.

But it was consistent- it never ballooned past that point and thankfully I held it pretty good.

Then I started graveyard shifts at the convenience store.

One thing about graveyard shifts is it messes with your brain. It messes with EVERYTHING. Your entire body gets thrown out of whack. Another thing was 'free soda' as a perk of the job. I drank a LOT of soda, and as it was my first job and I'd started making my own money I was finally able to buy all the stuff I wanted to.

I never learned when I was younger what a decent meal-plan was. I could cook, yeah, but it was always italian- lots of carbs, thick pasta, huge amounts of bread, etc. Then when you're tired all the time and can't cook for yourself, surrounded by candy bars...

I ballooned. I swelled up. I still am not sure how big I got but I was gigantic. I never weighed myself.

I didn't realize until I'd looked at myself in the mirror one day that I had metamorphosed into some kind of horrible monster. I hated myself- I hated what I had become- I hated looking at myself. I hated how everyone looked at me, and I hated that one side of my stomach had began drooping farther than the other like I was some sort of horrible beast.

I hated that I hadn't realized it had happened until it had.

My Dad whom I never got along with offered me an escape route- quit my job and stay with him, losing weight and healing. I took it as my only desperate chance.

But the road to weight loss, initially, was not the golden path he had spoken of. I'd heard about Atkins in High School- my Mom had gotten me the book and while I read it she ignored it. She was a high-carb Queen; summarily she developed diabetes later on in life which she complains about to this day.

But I digress. I wanted to do Atkins- I was not smart enough and sure enough of myself to dissuade him but I was stubborn enough to eat my way, and learn how to do it correctly.

I lived on stir-fry- bacon and cabbage, chicken and cabbage, beef and broccoli. There wasn't a lot of variety in my diet but I stuck to the plan, even occasionally cheating on two slices of pizza here and there towards the end of my four months.

I had finally gotten down to- get this- a weighable 309 pounds in a mere four months. I looked amazing. I looked stellar. My grotesque stomach had not gone away but I had gone down to a 2X T-shirt from a 6X and dropped from a size 60 pants to size 46 pants.

But it didn't last. I can't, honestly, remember why I quit Atkins. My rocky relationship with my Dad got worse and worse, heightened by tension because after seven years he still couldn't accept me for me, and eventually I moved back in with my Mom.

She being the High-Carb Queen. Of course I never got back on plan and, things being what they were, (college rolling around, working, and just in general having no drive and being scared of the one thing I craved the most- dating) I never got around to it.

So a lot of emotional problems. And just not enough time to do Induction. I tried to get back on the wagon, over and over again, but every time it seems like destiny intervened to knock me off. Whether it be my amazing first boyfriend (not him but the fact I got one) or someone's birthday or almost passing out at work because of low blood sugar on those first couple days.

Anyway, everything's lined up in order finally- I quit smoking (for the 3rd time) finally have a car so I can workout and still go to work without walking and pulling a muscle, and I just had a week's vacation. I started June 12, 2009 this time around and I am determined. I know things will be difficult- I know that it's a hassle and time-consuming until you get to the point where it's old-hat. But I'm excited. I'm finally able to take responsibility for myself and my health.

Starting Weight- ??? (400lbs?)
Current Weight- ??? (Lower but not measurable)
Goal Weight- 190 lbs.

Mini-Goal 1- 350 lbs.
Mini-Goal 2- 299 lbs.
Mini-Goal 3- 250 lbs.
Mini-Goal 4- 199 lbs.

Also, I'm excited that there's such a huge community here and that everyone's so helpful. It's good to be in a place where everyone's been there and done it before and it's good to know that if I have any questions you guys will know what I need to do.

[Lurch]

Great for you, You will get there. My friends use to joke Here comes Lurch and his Bag of Meat.

I always make sure I have some beef in a bag when i am on just incase i get hungry.

Now I make home made jerky. It works out real well.

[sham]

Hi there welcome firstly.I must say it seems like you have always struggled with your weight but you seem really determined to do something about it which is the first step to sucess.As you have tried the diet in the past and got results you personally know it works for you so have strong willpower set mini goals and do it for yoursel which is the main thing.I started last july and weighed 283 today under a year im 181 over 100lb loss its determination that got me through it and i did it for myself and my health as i felt so unfit a walk would tire me out ,just coming up yhe stairs i would take a rest as i was so heavy.Give it time as the days past you will stay losing.All the best i really hope you achieve sucess because I think you deserve it.Everyone deserves to be slim and i will pray you achieve it.

[chinadoll]

Hello Nathan, commit to this fully and really pledge to do this cheat free for as long as you can. Each day, build on your success. And do exercise--no matter how little or how weak you are do something you didn't do before. Eventually you will build on that initial effort and be able to do more and more. I am really pulling for you because it seems like you have lacked good training and bad examples and that can be a lot to overcome. You can do this if you stay focused and determined. I am pulling for you.

[imagood1]

hi Nathan -- welcome to ADBB!!!! We're so glad you found us and you know you are among family when you are here. Check out the Century Club for extra support. Join some of the challenges (some are exercise some aren't), journal your thoughts so you have a way to get things off your mind and out in the open -- that's been a real godsend for me!

Eat only the food listed on the "acceptable list" -- drink at least 64 ounces of water (pure water - nothing added) a day and start some type of exercise routine tomorrow - it doesn't matter what it is just get up and do something. When you feel weak come on here and talk to us -- you'll find a great bunch of people here who know how you feel and will help get you through the good and tough times.

Good luck to you -- if you need anything just ask!

[NathanBathory]

Thanks so much for all of your support. It really warms my heart to know that there are others out there who have been there and done it and know what needs to be done.